Mieko's journal

Mar 11

Tuesday Mar 11. 

I'm stuck in treatment again. I'm allowed to write in my journal as long as someone is here to watch me.

I don't like being watched but its better than doing nothing & still being watched. 

My therapist gave me a project. She wants me to look at my last entry & find some mistakes in my thinking. 

Which seems like she wants me to play therapist. Isn't that what she gets paid for? I'm gonna do it though...

I was kinda sarcastic in the very beginning.  The whole warning thing makes it seem like I wasn't feeling as bad as I was actually feeling.

In the end when I said I was feeling nothing I kinda lied I was feeling lost, but it didn't feel like a feeling at that time. 

I'm not nothing everyone is obviously something. 

I shouldn't have assumed Josh was cheating on me. I jumped to the worst possible scenario because that how the rest of the day played out. Josh was working on a group project by the way.

I signed my name perfectly at the bottom. My hand was shaking the entire time but when I wrote my name it came out steady. I don't know why that is ...

My time is up. I guess I must return to solitary confinement.

Treatment sucks.

~Meiko 

(I'm sooo sorry this is a terrible excuse for a chapter but I tried. Kinda. To be honest I know how I want this to end but there's some more stuff I want to throw in here first I just dont know where to put it. So I'm going to try and update tomorrow no promises.)