Mieko's journal

Jan 13, 15, 16, 17

Monday Jan 13. 

Today was my first day back at school. I sat alone at lunch again. I saw Josh but he just ignored me. Normally I would be worried or at least wondering what was wrong but I'm still not feeling right.

Mrs. Mariano gave me a list of journal assignments that I've missed but I don't want to do them. I haven't even looked at them.

She looked at my journal though. The entire time I watched the wrinkle on her for head get deeper. I admit that I don't remember what I wrote those days but I know based on my feelings & everything that it couldn't have been good. 

Wednesday Jan 15. 

How dare you? This is a letter for Mrs. Mariano the dumb bitch that reported my mother. I apologize journal for this but I need to get this out. How dare you? How do you have the audacity to report my mom? She's the only person I have in this world & you know this. 

What do you gain from this? Will you get sleep at night knowing you ruined my life? Everything about me & my life is already fucked up. I know this, you know this, and so does the rest of the world. Why the hell would you try to take the 1 thing I have in my life away from me? I have no idea whats wrong with you but you're a crazy sadistic bitch.

This is the last journal entry you'll be getting from me so I hope you enjoy it. 

~Meiko 

Thursday Jan 16. 

So after my flip out yesterday Mrs. Mariano decided "it would be best if I spent my English period in the guidance counselors office".

On top of therapy every Thursday(not that I've been to therapy lately) I have to see a school counselor every week day. This is gonna suck. I went today, the counselor is an old fat lady. I have no idea how she got the job but she's terrible. I made it clear though that I won't be cooperating with her.

~Meiko

Friday Jan 17. 

Josh sat with me at lunch today. The first thing he told me was that I looked like shit but he was worried about me. I wasn't sure if I should hit him or hug him. So I did both.

Throughout the lunch period I explained everything thats been happening with me. He looked so sad it broke my heart. He gave me the biggest hug I've ever gotten.  

 We skipped class just to talk and hang out. 

He explained to me that he was mad at me for the past few weeks. He was hurt that I didn't return or anwer any of his calls. He said the worst part was when I came but to school & didn't even try to offer him an explanation.

 I tried to apologize but he wouldn't let me. He just held me. It felt so good to finally have somebody. I have no idea why but I started to cry. I probably would have had a panic attack but he just held me tighter & assured me that everything would be ok. 

It felt amazing to finally feel like I wasn't alone.

In that short amount of time I think I fell in love with him. 

I have the best friend in the whole world!

~Meiko 

(I just made a twitter yesterday. I get it now. Twitter is addictive. I see how it takes over people's lives.)