Mieko's journal

Nov 14

Thursday Nov 14.

I'm eating my cereal right now. I have to leave for school in 20 minutes since I have nothing better to do I'm going to write. 

I had a nightmare last night. I don't actually remember it but I woke up screaming. Usually my mom comes in to help me calm down, but she's not here. I had to calm myself down before I had another panic attack. It was hard but I actually did it. I should probably tell my therapist that things are getting bad again, even though I don't like her . I don't like any therapists though. I have a very valid reason not to trust any of them. I don't think I could handle writing about that right now though. Maybe another time? 

I have to go to school now. I'll be writing later for class...

~Meiko

Topic: Write a poem

I don't think that's really a topic it's more like a command but ok here goes nothing...

Running in circles 

don't know what it means.

While life literally falls apart

at the seams.

Chasing dreams 

that never come true. 

Crying at night.

Staring at the moon.

Wanting to get away. 

Being confined

in this cage.

Knowing there's nothing more

but still the urge to explore.

A pain that can't be shaked.

A darkness that can't be escaped.

Can't help this feeling

that everything's wrong.

Unspoken words

to the unwritten song.

Seeing red. 

Bleeding blue.

This can't be real.

It can't be true.

Getting closer to secrets in the air

this isn't happening

this isn't fair.

Breaking to pieces

can't keep it together.

Praying to God for less stormy weather

what to do when it comes pouring down

Screaming at night 

without making a sound

How's it possible

not to see?

This isn't right

but this is me.

I'm not really sure what this is about. I started off thinking about my nightmares but it kinda took on a life of its own. I probably sound like a stoner but I'm not on drugs. Pinkie Promise. 

~Meiko 

(I wrote that poem in the middle of the night about 2 years ago... I still have no idea what its about)