Mieko's journal

April 1-17

Tuesday April 1. 

Topic: What kind of family will you have when you're older?

Ha. I don't think anyone believes that I'll ever have a family of my own. Which is cool cause honestly I don't want one. 

~Mieko

Thursday April 17. 

(My last entry thing was so short)

So I haven't been writing in a while. I know I'm a bad person but I do have a reason and maybe you'll be proud of me. 

So basically I've just been really busy. Between work, therapy, and Josh I have no room for anything else. Even writing because if I'm not doing one of those three things I'm reading, which I haven't been able to do lately., but I refuse to give up. Like really books are the only reason I've survived up to this point, and I cant abandon them now (my books need me). Although I do have to cut back. According to my therapist its not healthy to read a book everyday. Which I don't agree with but I listen to her now. Most of the time.

I wont listen to her about my attachment with Josh. She thinks we need a little more space in our relationship. She says I shouldn't be so dependant on him. I always point out that I'm paying to keep my house on my own. But then she reminds me that I depend on him in another way. And maybe shes right. I shouldn't be so emotionally dependant on him, but I cant help it and I'm not changing it for anyone or anything. Even my mental health, which is surprisingly getting better. 

My therapist said that it usually takes people a long time to get to this point. Where I'm open and trusting towards her and Josh when before I had no one. I think shes secretly waiting for me to withdraw from them, but I don't think I'll do that. Human interaction is fun. I like being relatively social. Even if I only talk to about 6 people. It's 6 more than I had before. 

Anyway I'm going to go now, and I'll try to write again soon.

~Mieko 

(I know this chapter is really short, but I'm trying to get back into writing this story again)