Crash || Luke Hemmings

6. not to blame

*Luna's POV*

 It was 10:13 a.m.  I had only known that because I had been checking my phone every five seconds hoping that it would be a minute later or maybe longer.  I was just hoping time would pass when it wasn't.

I heard footsteps in the hallway outside of my room approximately two minutes later.  I heard the door crack open and unburied my head from the pillow.  I saw Stephen standing in the doorway with a sneaky smile on his face and a cup of tea in his hand.

"I brought this for you, babe."  He walked towards the bed and handed me the cup of tea once I sat up.  He sat down at the end of the bed and watched me as I slowly took a sip of the steaming hot cup of tea that almost burnt my mouth.  "I decided to stop over here this morning when you weren't answering your phone.  I didn't know if you were sick or just being super lazy."  He smiled and chuckled a tiny bit and I tried to smile back at him.

"Thanks for the cup of tea.  I'm just being,"  I paused for a second try gather my thoughts before setting the cup of tea down on the table next to my bed. "Lazy."

"So, Luna, are you going to tell me about how last night went?"  He asked curiously and suddenly I began to feel dizzy.  I laid my head back down on the pillow and closed my eyes, trying not to get upset with myself.  I could hear his words swirling around in my head.  The words he said last night and the words he said to me two years ago.  They were all still there.  Loud and clear.

I felt his hand on the top of my head, slowly running his fingers through my long, messy blond hair.  I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt the tears escape and land on the skin of my cheek.  He looked concerned but had yet to say anything to me.  I wanted to talk about it but I didn't know how so I decided to keep my mouth shut for now.  Sometimes crying felt good and this was one of those times.  I allowed myself for once in my life to show weakness and emotion.  I felt the tears stream down my face and I buried myself into Stephen's chest.

"I'm sorry, I think I'm just hormonal."  I stated after enough of my tears had escaped.  I didn't want to get dehydrated which was definitely possible with all the water I had just lost.

"Look, if you want to talk about what really happened, then you can.  But if you don't want to, I'll be here anyways."  He began rubbing my back and I nuzzled my face up against his neck.  He was one of the easiest people to talk to because he never judged no matter what was happening.  His warm presence and open arms could always make me feel safe too.

"I just, I will never be able to change what I did."  I finally spoke up and my voice was quieter and shaker than I imagined it would be.  I didn't look up at him but played with my white comforter in my long, skinny fingers.  "I wish I could go back and make it up, but I don't know how I could make it up because I can't change."  I knew he was confused, even I was confusing myself with my words.  Everything was jumbled up in my head.  How could it not be?  With everything that Luke said last night to all my memories flooding back, it was hard to keep everything straight.

"Luna, you can always change what you did.  Were you rude to those boys last night?"  I shook my head slighly and bit my lip.

"No, Stephen, you don't understand.  And I wish I could explain but I don't know how and I'm not sure if I'm ready to yet.  But two years ago, Luke and I were best friends.  We both ruined it though and I left town barely even saying goodbye.  I understand why they're upset with me, but I don't understand how they don't think I have the right to be upset with them too?  I'm not the only one at fault here."  He nodded as I tried to explain in a condensed, nondetailed kind of way.  His fingers traced my shoulder bones and I could feel an intense headache coming on.  "I just know that no matter how many dinner dates I plan, how many nice things I say, and how much I still care for them, things won't go back to the way they were.  I won't be able to make up for it.  Things are ruined forever."

"I know you think it's bad now, but you just saw them for the first time after two years the other day.  Give it some time, and maybe, just maybe, you can rebuild your friendship.  It may not be the way it was before but at least you'll have it again."  He explained in his philosophical way that he always did when I asked for advice.  It was helpful at some times and totally irrelevant and unrealistic at other times.

"I just don't understand how Luke doesn't want to rebuild our friendship at all.  It's been two years; it didn't happen yesterday.  What are we ten years old were we don't get over things that happen in the past? Oh my god, he's just as frusturating as he's always been.  Stubborn old Luke, he'll never change."  I began to get frustrated and balled up my fists.  I grabbed my cup of tea from the table and took another sip.

"Look, I won't ask you to tell me anymore but I know you'll figure it out.  You're smart, Luna, and a really good friend.  I know you can work things out with Luke and your other friends too."  If only he knew that the other boys weren't mad at me.  It was only Luke.  "How about I grab some movies from the closet in the living room and make you some pancakes.  We could have a movie day in bed?"  I nodded and smiled gratefully as he stood up from the bed and walked out the bedroom door.  I saw his shiny black iPhone sitting on my comforter and I looked around before picking it up and grabbing it.

I quickly unlock it, thankful that he wasn't too worried about his information to put a passcode on it.  I clicked on the Contacts app and clicked on the L's.  I scrolled down a tiny bit and was thankful to see 'Luke Band' entered into his contacts.  I click on the contact and enter the number into my phone, saving it under 'Lucas' by habit because that's what it was in high school.

I opened my message app and clicked to type a new message.  I finally sent one after staring at my phone for a while.  The delivered icon showed up below the message and I began to doubt my choices of sending it.  I couldn't change it so instead I just stared at and wondered why I was always so stupid.

To: Lucas

This isn't all my fault you know.  I wasn't alone.  Don't make me out to be the bad guy because although you may think so,

I'm not the only one to blame

*Author's Note*

Boring, boring I know. I'm sorry but I just wanted everyone to know that this is really effecting Luna and that's she's really upset about this all, maybe a little angry too.  I hope you all liked it! Please vote it you liked it,you guys are the best :)

NEXT UPDATE || SUNDAY