Crash || Luke Hemmings

19. everything i didn't say

*Luna's POV*

It's been two weeks since I've talked to Luke. If I'm being honest, it was really weird not to talk to him every day about stupid shit and hear his seventh grade laugh at someone's stupid joke. In the end it was going to be for the best but I'm not going to lie and say it's been easy. Because it isn't. All I've done so far is hang out by myself and sometimes Savannah. Stephen came back from his one trip and almost immediately left again which didn't give me any time to see him or talk about anything with him (not that I would have anyways). I've steered clear of the rest of the boys because I'm afraid of what they'll say about me cutting Luke out of my life. I didn't feel like dealing with that now.

I decided to go out shopping because shopping is always a good idea. But as I walked down the busy street I remembered I didn't have any money to spend. So shopping is only a good idea when you don't have to window shop. It was a sunny day thankfully, and I smiled to myself as the warm rays laid upon my semi-tan skin. The crowd of people breezing along beside me suddenly feel very alone and I unconsiously began to look around me at all the smiling people. How come they all seemed so happy and like life was easy? Didn't they know life wasn't easy?

I stopped at a small little cafe before starting my window shopping because I needed some energy and a pick me up which hopefully coffee would do. I ordered my cup and stood at the counter waiting for my drink to be ready. I glanced out the window to see the sun still shining down brightly and decided it would be a good idea to just relax outside and drink it on the patio. I needed some relaxation and some way to calm my nerves. Once they called out my name and somehow still spelled Luna wrong, I made my way outside and sat at a little table without an umbrella because I needed more sun. I pulled my sunglasses out of my purse and placed them on my face, silently thanking myself for putting them in there the other day.

I took a sip of my coffee and then suddenly remembered I had a book in my bag too. I pulled it out and opened it up to where my book mark was placed. I was about half way through my favorite book of all time, Anna and the French Kiss. And even though I've read it a million times, I could still read it over and over again. My breathing and heart rate began to slow back down to normal and I thanked my love for reading for calming me down. I looked up at the crowded world around me and all the unfamiliar faces. I stopped when I saw a familiar one though. It was Stephen further down the street, keeping a steady pace as he continued down the sidewalk with a smile on his face.

What was he doing here? He was supposed to be in Las Vegas right now with his business partners making some kind of big, important, business like deal. So why was he still in LA, walking down the sidewalk with a smile on his face? Maybe he was coming to surprise me. Maybe he talked to Savannah and she told him where I was. Maybe he came home early and decided to spend the day with me.

But as he walked passed the cafe on the other side of the street without even stopping or glancing over at me, I realized that was not his plan. And then I noticed he was walking down the street with someone. And despite me wanting to believe this person worked with him, I didn't think that was the case. The girl next to him was wearing a crop top and high waisted shorts along with a bandana and a pair of vans. She was significantly shorter than he was so he kept looking down at her and she kept looking up at him, both of them laughing. Then suddenly I saw his hand was interlocked with her's and his free hand was filled with shopping bags, one of them I could see was lined with pink stripes known to the one and only Victoria's Secret. They stopped suddenly and he leaned down to kiss her and then they smiled at each other and continued walking. I gave them a death stare until I couldn't see them anymore.

I stayed in my spot at the cafe without moving a muscle. I was beyond pissed to the point where I was seeing red. How could he be so dumb? So every time he's been on a 'business trip' he's been with her? She looked like she was about thirteen years old, not really but she probably could have passed for one. If he wanted to be with that girl, he should have broken up with me before this whole engaged thing happened. I didn't know what to do as I stared down at my book pages on the table. Why couldn't something beautifully romantic happen to me like it always seemed to in the book? Why couldn't life be simple?

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and began to dial a number but then locked my phone and threw it in my purse when I remembered that Luke and I weren't friends anymore. We weren't allowed to be, especially not now. I wish I could tell him all about this and he would tell me how to deal with it, but he couldn't. So I would deal with it on my own. No one would know about this, I wouldn't even know about it.

I didn't feel like the shopping kind of mood, especially if it's window shopping so I began my short walk home and was thankful that I didn't see anymore familiar faces. I had seen one too many of those today. I hopped on the elevator which was empty and leaned against the wall before shutting my eyes. Why did life have to be like this? Why wasn't I born a princess or at least an heir to the throne. I heard the elevator ding as it reached my floor and I opened my eyes and hopped out quickly. When I reached my door I unlocked it and then looked up to realize an envelope was taped to my door.

Dearest Moona

Wonderful, Luke, you have fabulous timing. I ripped the big envelope from my door and marched inside before slamming the door behind me. I set my keys on the kitchen counter and then began to open the letter. I took a deep breath before trying to depict what his boy-ish and messy handwriting had said.

I know we're not friends anymore, and I can't say I understand because I don't. I don't understand why, to this day, you're still running away from me and whatever problems you have. Running away doesn't solve any problems, it only delays them.

Since we're not friends anymore and I know you won't call me when you need to talk, when you're scared, when you're upset, when you're mad, or when you're just giggly like you always are at 2 in the morning, I wanted to give you this.

Maybe this will help you when no one else can or when you won't allow me to be there to help you. These are all the words I've written for you.

This is everything I didn't say.

And the letter ended, just like that. And I suddenly felt tears forming in the corners because still sitting in the envelope was a cd written on with marker. I looked down at the songs listed on the cd.

1. Out of My Limit

2. Unpredictable

3. Too Late

4. Beside You

5. Everything I Didn't Say

I put the cd in the player in the corner of the room and listened as the boys' voices echoed through my apartment. I sat in the corner of my couch and brought my knees up to my chest. Tears rolled down my cheek and I knew it didn't have anything to do with Stephen, I wasn't even that upset. Granted, I should be, but I wasn't. The tears were coming because of Luke. These were all the songs he had written for me a long time ago and now he was giving them back to me. I sat there as the tears continued coming and I kept thinking to myself, when did life get so screwed up?

*author's note*

okay so i hate stephen lol that's all i gotta say and i know youre all gonna be like omg why would luna stay with him if she knows hes cheating but like you gotta understand her remember she doesnt normally make life changing big decisions like this so for her to even get engaged is a big deal and she doesnt want to back out now because shes scared of making another big decision ok idk if that made sense but yeah

and i had this chapter saved with a few words to remember what it was about before i wrote it and i literally wrote:

cheating chapter

stephen is a little slut

douche

lol so yeah im a nerd lol but vote comment and everything if you liked it thanks for reading :)))