Feelings||Joseph Morgan

Chapter 95

I was a mess, when I got home from the hospital I just wanted to be alone. I thanked phoebe and Paul for everything they have done today and decided to have a soak in the bath then get into bed. I was confused, sad and anxious about seeing Joseph, hell I was scared to even speak or look at him. I'm pregnant for god sake what do I do? There is so many un answered questions. Are we ready? Are we to young? Does Joseph still want kids with me? Do I want kids yet? Every time I think about it I just cry because I don't know what to do.
Just as I get myself worked up again I hear the front door close signalling Joseph is home. I instantly wipe my tears from my eyes forcing a smile as he greeted me then dipped down on his side of the bed beside me. "Feeling any better baby?" Joseph smiled. "Not really" was all I replied still looking at the tv. Joseph went to place a kiss on my lips but I turned my head to the side, wow I wasn't half making it obvious but I couldn't even look at him, it's killing me lying to him but I'm scared!

"What's the matter? Have I done something wrong?" He frowned. Still not looking at him "no you haven't, sorry I just don't want you to catch this bug I have" I lied making up that was the reason I didn't kiss him. He nodded but i don't think he bought it...

As the night went on all it considered on was small talk, Joseph was forever trying to make conversation with me but I couldn't! Hearing his voice and seeing his face broke me, it hurt that I wasn't being honest with him but I need time to think about this properly! "Do you want something to eat Serena? I could order us some takeout" Joseph smiled. "That's would be nice Thankyou" i sighed.
20 minutes later the Chinese arrived, I felt very hungry for this! Now I know I don't have the flu or whatever I don't have to worry about that being why I'm throwing up... maybe I would prefer it was the flu right now. I tucked into my sweet and sour whilst watching the late late show with Joseph, the odd laugh at the tv here and there. I demolished the food within 15 minutes which left a smirking Joseph. "I thought you were ill, how he hell did you manage to eat all of that" Joseph laughed. Shit! "I dunno, must of just come over me" I forced.
Day 2 of liesssss
//

*Serena added contacts "phoebe" and "Paul" to the chat*

Paul
What's thisssss?

A chat with just us 3 in it. I think Joseph knows something's wrong, I can't even look at him! I even turned away when he went to kiss me🙄😩

Phoebe
Oh god... stop making it so damn obvious then! Speak to him, kiss him like everything's normal.

Paul
I agree, I think u should just tell him Yano? It's Joseph! He's the most understanding person there is and he loves you so much x

I can't phoebe it's too hard being normal towards him when I'm carrying this lie:( and Paul I know I know, but I'm scared Joseph will hate me, not even that I just don't think we're ready for a child, Joseph is filming for the originals and it's been confirmed for another season, he's doing amazing I don't wanna ruin that for him xx

Paul
Yeah it's your choice Serena, me and phoebe have known you a long time and will always support u! We gotchuuuu xx

Phoebe
Damn right gurl! Love u xxx
//

I went to the bathroom whilst joe was asleep and looked at the test results, I kept reading that one word over and over "pregnant".  I needed help, I needed a serious answer what I should do. Yeah I'd love to have a baby with Joseph but is it to soon? Damn I'm struggling, I decided to ask for Paul and phoebes help one last time.
//
Guys I'm a mess right now, I'm sorry for being like this but I honestly don't know what to do! I'm sat in the bathroom crying reading that one word over and over whilst Joseph is in bed asleep:(  plus Joseph knows something's wrong! I don't know if I can hide this anymore😭

Daniel
Woahhhhhh hide what?!?!

Claire
Erm? Are you okay Serena!!

Ian
What's going on? Why are you crying?

Paul
WRONG CHAT, I REPEAT WRONG CHAT

Phoebe
Shit shit shit shit shit shit

Joseph
Serena? Why are you crying? And hide what? Come out of the bathroom
//

Fucking great! What a way for Joseph to find out something's definitely wrong, Joseph was now banging on the bathroom door telling me to let him in, asking me what's wrong and why I'm crying. I don't know what to say anymore. "Serena if you don't unlock the door I will break it open" Joseph mumbled. I gave in and dropped the results to the floor, I unlocked the door.
I put my foot over the paper hoping he wouldn't see it. "Serena! What is wrong and what are you hiding from me?" He questioned. I didn't reply, all I could do was cry and cry. He looked at me sadly like it hurt him seeing me so upset. I lifted my foot and Joseph picked up the paper. I watched as he read it and his face froze, Joseph's eyes met with mine. "Why didn't you tell me?" Joseph asked firmly. "I-i-i didn't wanna loose you, it's so soon" I stuttered. "Are you fucking joking me Serena? So you waited 2 days knowing you're pregnant with my baby! And basically you didn't tell me because you were debating weather to abort our baby? How could you Serena?" Joseph shouted. "I'm so sorry Joseph, I just didn't wanna loose you!" I flinched. "Loose me? Why the hell would you loose me? We're husband and wife for goodness sake, i would love nothing more than to father your children but I guess you wouldn't want that" Joseph shouted with a small tear escaping his eye. "Joseph wait, that's not true-" but before I could finish he stormed out the bathroom and I heard the front door slam shut knowing he's walked out.

Omg I just watched the last ever episode of the vampire diaries and it's safe to say I cried my eyes out!! I can't believe it's over for good😭😭💔