My Own Love Story (COMPLETED)

Chapter 6

EOS SANDLER

Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko matapos niyang sabihin sa'kin 'yon. Siguro hanggang ngayon ay iniisip niya pa ring hindi ko siya totoong mahal at ginawa ko lang siyang rebound. Pero hindi ganon 'yon. I loved her for who she is and still am loving her. Kahit na alam kong parte ako ng nakaraan niyang gusto na lang niyang ibaon sa limot.

Yes,I wasn't supposed to come home yet. But when I found out na nagtransfer siya ng school after what happened to her, hindi ko mapigilang mag-alala. Naisip ko, ganon na ba talaga kalala at kinailangan niyang lumipat ng school?

I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to be the first one who comes on her mind whenever she needs help and comfort. Pero ang layo ko sa kanya—kinailangan kong lumayo pansamantala.

And now that I'm back, hindi ko inaasahan na ganito ang madadatnan ko. Hindi ko inakalang makakahanap siya ng ibang tao makakapagbigay sa kanya ng comfort na in the first place, dapat ako ang nagbibigay.

Ayoko, hindi ko kaya—hindi ko siya kayang makita sa piling ng iba.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?"

Napalingon ako sa nagsalita at nakita ko si Yed.

"Yed, tulungan mo naman ako oh." Pagmamakaawa ko sa kanya.

Oo, alam kong galit siya sa'kin at hindi niya 'ko tutulungan. Pero gusto ko pa ring magbaka-sakali. Gusto ko pa ring subukang hingiin ang tulong niya. Sa kahit anong paraan, gagawin ko lahat para lang bumalik sa'kin si Saiph.

"Tanga ka pala eh. Pagkatapos ng ginawa mo? Sa tingin mo ba tutulungan kita? Baka nga bugbugin pa kita ngayon dito eh." Iritadong sambit sa'kin ni Yed.

I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes. Trying to keep my cool.

"Yed, alam mo ang dahilan kung bakit ako umalis—"

"Oo, alam ko. At alam din ni Saiph. Inintindi ka naman niya eh. Hindi ba?" Makahulugang sambit ni Yed.

Alam ko kung ano ang gusto niyang sabihin at alam ko rin kung ano ang tinutukoy niya.

"Eos, nagsisimula pa lang siya ulit sa buhay niya pare. Sana naman, huwag kang manggulo. Umalis ka na lang ulit." Payo sa'kin ni Yed saka niya tinapik ang balikat ko at naglakad papunta kila Saiph.

Itinuon ko ang atensyon ko kay Saiph at hindi ko mapigilang isipin iyong sinasabi ni Yed kanina—iyong sulat na pinadala sa'kin ni Saiph noon, ilang taon ang nakalipas matapos kong umalis sa Pilipinas.

I don't know if you will be able to read this. I am not sure as well, if this letter will reach you someday, but I hope it does.

You know, while writing this, I am thinking that maybe we don't always realize that bigger and better things are possible for us as we stubbornly refuse to get over the ones we have. We oftentimes are reluctant to see outside of what we are seeing just still. And yes, it is something I give up pursuing. Because when I have decided to remain on the very same ground that I once believed was always the best in the world, I later found out that it wasn't yet the best that's for me.

Eos Sandler, my sweetest, I have been under the idea that you've been indeed my right choice, but actually, you weren't. Yet please, it's not to imply that it's not a wonderful thing. For I can never deny that you were one of those who made me it possible for me to receive the affection and attention which I sorely wanted from the start. Matter of fact, you were the moon which sparkled so lovely during my cold winter nights. You were by my side during most of the toughest journey of my life. You have been there for me, fully embracing me to prove that even in the grimmest corners of the world, I was never alone because I had you. You were by far the most enchanting moon I have ever known, and I will never think for a second of forgetting it.