Alaska

Metal Bite - 4

I didn't go into the cafeteria during lunch, climbing the stairs to the roof. I sat there as the cool wind whipped around me, the coming winter obvious in the air. I rolled up my sleeves, old scars staring at me as my fingers traced the long white lines.

The bite of the metal tore into my skin, blood blossoming against my skin. I didn't flinch, I didn't cry, I deserved this. My mother was right in every sense of the word, I was useless, and second best.

I couldn't blame him. I never could.

Paige was beautiful and kind, smart as all get out and was leader material. She didn't have an alcoholic mother that hurt her child the way she shouldn't. She had a father that was actually in her life, a father that actually loved her.

She wasn't a failure.

I wiped my wrist the best I could before rolling back down my sleeve, slowly making my way down the steps to the school. I prayed no one could smell the blood, and if they did I'd just blame it on blood typing in biology. Not that I even took biology.

I sat down in history, the first time I had been in this class for days. I sat in my familiar corner as Andrew walked in, not daring to meet his gaze. I smelt him before I saw him, and it still broke my heart how he smelt of her.

I wrote down the notes as class started, his gaze burning my skin worse than I ever had. I stood when the bell rang, the sound of his footsteps like elephant stampedes in my ear. I began to walk away when he gripped my arm, right where I had torn my flesh apart.

I hissed in pain, ripping it away from him and back to me. His eyes hardened when he looked at me, flirting back to my arm. "Alaska-"

"Goodbye River." I knew I had another class with him, if he hadn't changed his schedule to match mine already, that is.

"I don't know what you saw this morning, but it isn't what you thought." I sighed as I began walking, the sound of him close behind me. I felt Andrew not far behind, the smell of Andrew acting as a nagging reminder of something.

I just couldn't figure out what.

"If you chose to be with her, it is not my concern. We aren't dating, you don't like me, I don't like you. I get it, I'm sorry for reacting like I did." I turned as I spoke, his face falling as I spoke.

Inside of my chest was a hurricane, it felt as if my wolf was wanting to rip itself out of my chest and give myself to him. I wanted to touch him, hold him, to just press my lips to his and run my hands through his dark hair.

He was your quintessential Alpha, all looks, and no heart.

I turned and walked into my next class, drowning my sorrows in the thoughts of tonight, and the metal in my bag.

***

I left art with a small smile that only acrylic and oil paints can give me. I fucked up though, I painted his face without even realizing it. It was beautiful, but the worst part is I painted it sad. I painted it the exact way he looked this morning, when I tore into him.

I asked my teacher to hide it once it dried, begged her practically. She nodded, she was a wolf and I'm sure if he asked she would hand it over to her Alpha. Although, I swear to god if she hands it over willingly I will build my own grave and bury myself in it.

I walked down the steps of the school, maneuvering to my bike as I looked for my keys. "Alaska!"

I looked up to River in a sweaty shirt and shorts, his football helmet tucked under his arm. "Yes River?"