What's Wrong With Us? {Cashby}

02| Going Nowhere

Chapter Dedicated to these lovely little creatures
🌸✨🌸✨🌸
@Alanfuckingashby
@creamsiclecarlile

Alan's POV

"I'm gay."

Everything went silent and my parents stared at me with wide eyes. Dad started to chuckle and Mom looked like she was going to have a heart attack.
"You're kidding, right Alan?" My Dad said and my heart sank.
"N-no."
"What?" My Mom said.
"I-I like boys. I'm gay."

"Alan? No. No no no no." Mom stood up and grabbed me by my shoulders. "Honey this is a joke right? Please tell me it is."
"No." I said but this time I was more firm with my answer. "It's not a joke. I'm gay. I like guys Mom."
She looked at me with pain stricken eyes and I swear they filled with tears.

"Alan no son of mine will be gay. It's against everything we know." My dad spoke up. "You are just confused. That's all. You'll wake up tomorrow and see that this is just some poor joke your mind has come up with to worry us. Go to your room and don't come out."
I stared at them in disbelief. Were they actually serious right now?
"Alan go!" My dad yelled.

I grabbed my bag and went up the stairs to my room. I shut the door and just stood there a moment before sliding down it and pulling my knees to my chest. I couldn't process what had just happened. I didn't expect the reaction I got.

How could they tell me that I'm confused? Sure when I was 13 I was but now I wasn't, everything was crystal clear. I knew who I was and I knew who I liked. I couldn't help the fact that I was attracted to guys. I needed someone to talk to.

I picked up my phone and dialed Shay.
"H-hey." He said breathlessly.
"A-am I interrupting something?" I said in a quiet voice, trying not to cry.
"No. Alan what's wrong?"
"I told them."
"Huh?"
"My mom and dad. I told them I was gay."
"And?"
"They didn't react how I thought." I sighed and tried to keep from crying.

"Dude I'm so sorry. Honestly if they can't accept you then fuck them." He said and I couldn't help but smile. We talked a few more minutes and Shay managed to get me relatively calm. We said our goodbyes and I thought it would be a good time to go try and talk to my parents.

I walked down the stairs and, even though I shouldn't have, I stopped to listen to their hushed voices coming from the kitchen.
"What are we going to do?" I heard my dad say.
"I don't know." My mom replied with what seemed like a saddened voice.
"Where did we go wrong?" My dad said exasperated. I could just see him throwing his hands up in the air. "What did we do? We're good parents. We made sure he knew what was right and what was wrong. But this?! I don't understand. He can't actually be gay can he?"
"Let's hope not. Someone's bound to have corrupted him. Put these foolish thoughts into his mind. "

I was tired of listening to it.
"No one put these 'thoughts' into my head. It's just who I am. I'm gay. " I said stepping out from my hiding place.
"Alan you're young and confused." My mom said hopefully.
"No mom! Listen to me. I know who I am and who I like. That can't be changed. I like guys! Im gay!"
"No you're not!" My dad shouted causing me to shut my mouth instantly.

"No son of mine...." he trailed off. "Rachel what about one of those groups who are supposed to make him see that he's wrong?" My dad said turning to my mom.
"Conversion therapy!?!? No Dad. Mom!"
"Shut up. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm not that twisted of a man." He said to and then turned back to my mom. "Just a regular group. There's gotta be one out there that isn't crazy."
"That's a good idea." My mom said nodding her head.

"Guys you can't just change who I am?! That's not how it works." At this point I was crying again.
"Alan it's final. You'll go to whatever group we choose and they will make you better. Don't worry son." Dad said and gave me a small smile. I stared at them both in utter shock.
"What if I don't go?"
"Then you can leave."
"Honey we can't kick him out." My mom said quietly to my dad.
"If he doesn't follow my rules yes I can."

I stared at him in shock. I looked from him to my mom. Mom was staring at the ground and dad was glaring at me.
"Pick." Dad said. "Either you agree to go to the group we pick or go pack a bag." This was my home. I didn't know any other place. I didn't really have friends besides Shay but he lived so far away. No grandparents to go to. No relatives. Nobody. What would I do if I got kicked out?

"Dad....Mom?" She just shook her head and Dad continued giving me a hard stare. I was shaking. My brain couldn't comprehend that my own parents were willing to kick me out because of who I liked. I don't know how long I stood there put it was apparently to long for my Dad's liking.

"Well what's it gonna be?"
"I-I..." I started to stutter.
""Well? Out with it." He said raising his voice.
"I'll go." I whispered.