What's Wrong With Us? {Cashby}

01| Spilling The Truth

Hey guys! Here it is I hope you guys like this first little peak. Gimme ya thoughts!
Love you little creatures💖

Alan's POV

Today was the day; the day I would tell my parents that I was gay. I finally felt comfortable enough with myself to tell them this, to tell everyone. I was tired of hiding in the closet. I wanted to have a boyfriend. Someone who would hold me and love me for me, but I couldn't have that if I was hiding who I truly was. I couldn't be happy unless I truly accepted myself for who I was and who I liked.

I had known since I was 13 that I liked boys. I remember the day too. I was hanging out with some friends at the park that was down my street. We were all going to stay at Shayley's house because he was moving and it was his last weekend here.

Before we went to Shay's we decided to fool around at the park for a while. At some point Shay had pulled me away from the others as we were walking along the edge of the trees, not really saying much.

Then suddenly Shay stopped and while he stood there thinking I leant against a tree waiting for him to talk.
"Hey Alan?"
"Yea?"
"Have you ever thought of...like...I don't know kissing a boy?" I stared at him a minute. See my 13 year old self had wondered about it. I was always the kid who never wanted to be within a 10 foot radius of a girl. I never did and still don't, but when Shay had asked me that question I was shocked.

I had often thought of what it would be like to hold a boys hand or kiss a boy, but I had always been told that it was wrong and that guys were only supposed to be with boys. I had looked up at Shay and nodded my head. "Y-yeah I have, but isn't it wrong? That's what they always say."
"No there's not anything wrong with it Alan. Mom always told me that if you liked someone then you liked them. You can't really help it."

That's another thing different about me and Shay. Our parents. They both were almost strict opposites. My parents didn't get along with Shay's and vice versa, but they never stopped me from hanging out with him. I looked down at the ground and studied it a moment while thinking. In the meantime Shay took that as an opportunity to lace his fingers with mine.

I stared up at him and my cheeks heated up.
"Al you're one of my best friends and I know I'm moving but I've kind of had a crush on you." He spilled and my eyes widened.
"Me?"
He laughed awkwardly. "Yeah you. You're cute." He said and shrugged his shoulders. I didn't know what to say. I was speechless. Yes Shay was cute and I was freaking out on the inside.
"C-can I kiss you?" He asked and I just nodded.

He shifted awkwardly then leant down pressing his lips softly to mine. I went rigid for a few seconds then put my arms around his neck like I had seen people do before. It was just a simple peck on the lips but it was my first kiss and it was amazing in my opinion. Shay pulled back and smiled at me.
"Wanna do it again?" He asked and I nodded eagerly. We were two 13 year olds kissing for the first time what did you expect.

He placed his hands on my hips carefully and leaned down to kiss me. This time however I had felt his tongue swipe across my bottom lip. I opened my lips slightly and his tongue found its way next to mine. It was weird and I couldn't decide if I liked it or not, after a few moments I relaxed and followed along with his movements. The kiss became more enjoyable and once I pulled away I couldn't help but smile.

I looked back down at my shoes then up to Shay. He was smiling widely at me and without warning he wrapped me in a big hug.
"That was great." He said when he pulled away and pecked my lips.

I spent the whole weekend at his house. We waited till everyone went to sleep then went out to the hammock in the backyard and made out, or at least our thirteen year old version of it. Those two nights we cuddled until early in the morning and he held my hand discreetly while movies played on the large tv in his room.

When it was time for him to go it was bittersweet. He told me how he wished he would have done something sooner and he promised me he would visit.

That was my first ever experience with a boy and I knew that weekend for certain I was gay. A boy had stole my first kiss and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I was 17 now and I didn't want to lie to anyone any more.

I've never actually told anyone I was gay. Sure I've fooled around with guys and I've had love interests but as far as actually saying aloud that I was gay, I never have. I was too afraid but today was the day. My mom had always told me to be true to myself and be who I wanted to be, and well this was me.

They had strict views but I hoped that since I was their son and since they always encouraged me to be the true version of myself that they would understand that this was something I couldn't change. This was a part of me.

I took a deep breath as I walked into my house and into the living room where my parents were sitting watching tv. I sat my bag on the nearby recliner and then went to stand in front of them.
"Mom, Dad, I have something I need to tell you." I said nervously. Mom chuckled at me and dad paused the tv.
"What is it honey?" Mom said.
It was now or never.

"I'm gay."