What's Wrong With Us? {Cashby}

41| Not My Fault

This chapter is a piece of shit l. I'm sorry guys. Like I've written it like six times in different points of views and I've had different things happen and it just wasn't coming out the way I wanted buttt here's the best one outta the bunch. 💕

Alan's POV

Austin was quick to come back. He took my hand in his, holding it like it was a fragile ancient artifact, and gently began cleaning my hand up. He pulled a few slivers of broken mirror out and I couldn't help but flinch when he did so. Once he was done and once my hands were all bandaged up he took both of my hands in his and kissed across the top of my knuckles. He looked up at me, eyes filled with concern and worry, and pushed some loose hair behind my ear.

"Alan what happened?" He asked again.
"I broke a mirror." I mumbled.
"But what caused you to break the mirror?" His thumbs brushed across the back of my hands and I felt tears prick at my eyes. If he knew he wouldn't be touching me. It's untelling where my hands had been last night. "Please Alan."
"I just saw my reflection." I said quietly.
"Alan, baby, you're perfect. What about yourself made you mad enough to punch a mirror?" I looked back into his eyes and I saw the sadness and the worry in them once again.

"I..." he would find out eventually right? I guess it was better for him to find out now than later. At least I would already have Kellin and Vic here to comfort me once he left. "I saw the marks."
"Marks? Alan did someone hurt you?" He said becoming instantly protective. Tears started to fall freely down my face once again and I simply just nodded my head. There's no way he would actually believe I had no part in any of it. Just like she said , boys can't be raped by girls.

"Who hurt you? Alan where are you hurt? What marks?" He said frantically and pulled himself up to sit beside me on the bed. I brought a hand up and motioned to my neck and collarbone area before pointing behind myself at my back. Austin gently moved me to where I was sitting on his lap, facing him. This was it. Once he saw he would leave. I was trying to prepare myself but that only resulted in more tears falling down my face. I felt Austins thumbs on my check wiping my tears away but that didn't help any, they just kept pouring.

"Can I see?" He asked quietly and I gave him a single nod. I held my breath as he slipped my shirt over my head. My eyes were closed. I didn't want to see the disgust that undoubtedly would cover his beautiful face. I flinched back slightly when his fingertips brushed my collarbones. My tears became heavier, if that was possible, and my breathing was nonexistent.

"Alan who?" I heard him ask in a deathly calm voice. I shook my head and he asked again, firmer this time. "Who?"
I struggled to make my mouth form the single name. It was like vomit was rising in my throat.
"M-Megan."
"She did this to you?"
"I-I'm sorry Austin." I cried. "I'm so so so sorry. I didnt want it to happen but it did. Im sorry. I feel so disgusting and I'm ashamed. Please I'm sorry." I sobbed.

Austin sat still. He wasn't saying anything. I looked up at him and put my hands on his shoulders. "Please. I know you don't believe me but just say something. Anything. Please Austin." I said as more tears fell down my face.
"She did that? Did you...I thought you were gay?" He questioned.
"I am! I am, I am, I am, I would never sleep with a girl and I would never cheat on you. I would never." I sobbed.
"So she...that fucking bitch." He gritted out and soon he was up. He was pacing around the room with a fiery look in his eyes. I curled in on myself and watched him move back and forth as I cried.

He suddenly stopped and then came back over to me.
"What all happened?"
"I-I don't remember." I said and he looked at me. "She must have drugged me. I don't remember anything at all." I gripped my hair. "I woke up and we both didn't have clothes on and she said...she said some stuff that basically confirmed it all. And she...she said no one would believe me." My voice cracked. "I'm so sorry Austin. I didn't want it to happen. I didn't. I don't...I can't get the thought of her hands on me out of my head." I wrapped my arms tightly around myself.

Austin was quick to climb behind me on the bed. He went to wrap his arms around me but stopped momentarily.
"Is it okay if I..."
"Please." I whispered and he pulled me to his chest where he held me close.
"Im sorry." I said into his chest and he shushed me.
"None of its your fault. None of it." He tilted my head up so he could look in my eyes. "Do you hear me?" I simply nodded.