Every Little Reason | BTS

40 | Tranquility (结)

It has been a month since Kim Jongin's death. It was a strange, quiet month as the time seemed to move at a slow pace. Everyone had a hard time after hearing the news, especially his parents. With his background from a powerful military family, his cemetery was surrounded by noble souls—and bouquets of flowers that soon would decorate his whole headstone.

As for my parents, there was a pattern for them now to speak about how much of a wonderful person Kai was during dinner. After all, he was our family's bodyguard—always respectable and kind-hearted to my parents for the past years.

Chang Wook, the boys, and my best friends also seemed affected by his death. I remembered during the funeral, their expression was a picture of remorse. Because who'd have thought, the very person who was misunderstood for abandoning me four years ago, would be the same person who'd saved me at the very end.

I let my finger slide across the phone screen and touched the play button. It was a video of Kai and me, where I told him that I was going to take a selfie of us, but I was actually recording us.

"Smile for the camera!" I chimed, angling the camera so we both fit into the frame.

But I let out a frown when Kai wasn't smiling. He just stared at the camera with a serious gaze, his lips pressed into a tight line, keeping his royal grace as much as possible.

"Kai, smile!" I nudged him a little, and he gave me an awkward look. We stared into each other until he decided to open his mouth.

"Like this?" Instead of smiling, it looked like he was showing his teeth.

I laughed and nodded, finally took a picture of us together, with his confused doe-eyes looking at me.

My lips slowly spread into a smile as it felt like only yesterday when we promised each other. Even now, it felt like he was just around my orbit, guiding and never leaving me—just like Saturn's rings.

Because for me, Kim Jongin wasn't just a bodyguard. He was my childhood friend. He was my ex-fiance. He was my fairy godfiance. And he was secretly my diary—aided with wine, that is.

I stepped out from the car as I marveled upon the Blue House, still looking beautiful with its blue tiles and spacious green grounds. My face radiated with a warm smile as I leisurely walked around the building, watching every corner as childhood memories replayed in my mind like a slow-moving film.

The training hall overlooking the green especially caught my eyes, and I couldn't help laughing a little when the memories of training days with Taehyung crossed my mind. How we'd always bicker over small things, how we'd make up afterward and had snacks together.

And behind the big tree, I also remembered how little Kai would watch me running around with his cheeks flushed a little.

"Que Sera, Sera."

A sweet voice suddenly rang in my ears, making me turn around to the source of the voice. It was from the garden. Curious, I trudged towards it, and on the white metal swing—the one that I played with Taehyung when we were little—a familiar figure appeared and smiled at me. I was mesmerized for a moment as I stared into her deep blue eyes.

"I'm glad that you have met my family, Taehyung, and the boys. Please take care of them for me," Mia said, making herself comfortable as her feet rocked back and forth on the ground. "It was one of my greatest dreams to always stay together with my loved ones. Will you achieve that dream for me, Jinhee-ah?"