If I Just Lay Here. // Destiel

Falling Apart

When Dean told Cas and Charlie, what he was saying was barely audible, he spoke fast while trying to compose himself. He was still hyperventilating and panting as he got into the drivers' seat of his truck.
"No." Cas says putting his hand on Dean's arm, which was outstretched holding onto the car door. "No, you're not driving. I am." Dean relents as rides shotgun with Charlie adopting the back seat. Dean talks,
"The only time he's ever been to hospital was when he was seven, and we tried to build a slide on the yard, it wasn't as slippy as we thought and Sam went flying." Charlie smiles, obviously also remembering too. "I should never have even come here. To Yale I mean." As looks at him.
"What do you mean? This isn't your fault."
"If I'd have just got a job, I'd never have had to leave him."
"Dean." Charlie interjects. "You weren't to know that this would happen. You can't protect him forever."
"I can try."
There is no sound for the rest of the journey, Cas keeps trying to find an excuse to say something but can't think of what.

At the hospital Dean gets out of the truck before it's even stopped moving, and darts inside, Charlie and Castiel closely behind. John meets Dean just outside the door to Sam's room. He puts his hands on Dean's arms.
"Dean." He looks over Dean's shoulder and nods at Cas and Charlie who both nod back. "He's in a coma, if he wakes up they said there won't be any lasting damage." Dean nods, still struggling to take it in nods, John moves to the side and Dean goes in. He sees Sam and doubles back gasping. Falling into a table, John takes his arm to hold him up, and Dean sits in the chair next to the bed. Charlie and Castiel stand outside looking through the window as Dean takes Sam's hand, and can't hold the tears back, they flood down his face, Cas and Charlie both go to comfort him, but John gets there first and wraps his arms around Dean. John pulls him in and Dean sobs into his chest. Charlie starts to cry outside and Cas wraps an arm around her.

Dean barely moves for a couple of hours. Charlie and John leave him after an hour, to sleep on the couches outside. Cas sits next to him. "He'll be fine."
"Yeah," Dean's voice is a hoarse whisper. "I'm not leaving him."
"It's alright. The Dean has given us time off."
"No, you don't get it. I'm not leaving him." Cas is about to reply when Dean jumps, Cas looks and sees Sam's fingers tightening around Dean's, he gasps and goes to the door.

The commotion of the nurses arriving wakes John and Charlie. Mary arrives just as they're checking on Sam, she is accompanied by Bobby and has a bag full of clothes. They are all waiting outside, for news. No one has told Jess yet. Mary takes it upon herself and goes outside where the quiet can be relied on. When she returns, they are still checking Sam over, the blinds have been closed so no one can see in. Bobby breaks the silence.
"I'm sorry. This is on me." Dean turns to him.
"It's on me too."
"No, if I hadn't suggested that we surprise you this never would have happened."
"Bobby, listen to me. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. We need to focus on Sam now. Nothing else." Bobby nods as Dean turns to the blocked off window. Jess arrives just before a nurse emerges.
"He's awake. He has a cracked rib cage, which is pretty sore right now, and a broken wrist, but he'll be grand." All of the company issue sighs. "He'll be fine, but for now, if no more than three go in at a time." The first to see him are Dean, John and Mary. Dean holds his hand like he'd done before.
"Hey Sammy. You scared us there." Sam issues a timid smile and flinches.
"Hey it's okay," John says. "Don't do something that'll hurt you." Sam looks at them.
"Dean. Why aren't you at Yale?"
"Are you serious. I'm not gonna leave you." Sam looks at him an obviously sees where Dean is going with the idea of not leaving him. "The driver of the other car has taken full responsibility, and they're setting a court date." He looks at Sam the whole time. "He was pissed."
"Yeah. I figured." Sam says to Dean.
"Don't you ever do this again." Mary interjects taking his other hand.
"I'm not planning on." They smile at him, and his jokes. "How is everyone?"
John answers this time. "Bobby is convinced this is his fault. Jess is a mess, and Charlie's worse than she's letting on. As usual." Dean looks uncomfortable. He'd barely said a word to Charlie. He should talk to her.
"Okay, I'm gonna let someone else see you." Dean leaves and Bobby takes his place. He sits next to Charlie and smiles.
"Your boyfriend needed a nap." She nods her head toward Cas, who is totally out of it. Mary emerges to let Jess in, and proceeds to get drinks for everyone that asks. Dean addresses Charlie.
"How are you?" She shrugs.
"Not bad. Considering." Dean sees the sadness in her eyes.
"Oh yeah?" She nods and blinks tears away. John exits the room and she takes her chance leaving Dean with the sleeping Cas while John goes to the cafè. Dean sits next to Cas, and runs his fingers through his hair. Cas smiles timidly at him and sits up.
"You back?" Dean asks. Cas nods and rubs his eyes.
"You never finished what you were saying earlier. Before he woke up."
"What?"
"About not wanting to leave him ever."
"Oh, yeah."
"What did you mean."
"Cas, can this wait."
"Does it have to." Dean looks over at Castiel, and sees that he seems to already know what Dean is going to say.
"Cas, I." Cas just stares, dreading what's to come. "I don't think I'm going back to Yale."