Forever Lost

17

Laugh.
Laugh.
Laugh.
Laugh.
I covered my ears and screamed as loud as I could to try and rid my head from the haunting noise. Flashes of his yellow teeth with a mess of red paint covering his thin lips crossed my mind and I tried to squeeze my eyes shut to rid myself from the images.
All of a sudden, the laughs stopped and I slowly opened my eyes to look around. I stood alone in the middle of a white space, my clothes were torn and covered in dried blood. Just as I was about to question where I was, a white face entered my vision and I screamed once again. He laughed as he pinned me to the ground. My limbs struggled against his and I thrashed around beneath his grip.
"Stop squirming! Harley come help me!"
Harley came bouncing in and took his place above me as he searched his pocket for something. My eyes had tears collecting within them and I did my best to imagine that I was at home with my friends rather than here. When he lifted up a scalpel from his pocket my eyes went wide in terror.
"Please don't kill me!"
They both looked at each other before they burst into laughter.
"Oh honey, we aren't going to kill you! Mr. J is just going to give you a little gift so you can remember us for the rest of your life!"
I didn't understand what she meant until I felt the scalpel tear through the sensitive skin on my wrist. I looked over and screamed as I watched him carve something into my body. Blood seeped out of the wound rather quickly and when I tried to look away, Harley held my head down so I had to watch. My vision started to blur. There was just so much blood.

"Starfire wake up! It's just a nightmare!"
My eyes shot open and I quickly sat up as I tried to catch my breath but I regretted doing it so quickly as sharp pain was emitted throughout my body. Someone supported my back as I shook in fear and looked around the dark room. Where am I? Who's touching me?
My mind was unclear and even though it hurt like hell, I forced myself to jump away from the person onto the floor. All I could see was a silhouette walking towards me and I immediately lifted my hands in an attempt to warn the person. He put his hands up and when I saw his face full of fear, my hands dropped in shame. It's just Robin, and I just threatened him.
"R-Robin, I'm sorry, I-I thought th-that you were-" he cut me off with a gentle shush as he bent down to my level to pick me up. He laid me back on the bed and I couldn't force myself to let go.
"It's ok Star, it's just me. Not him."
Of course he knew who I was talking about, he knows me too well.
"Please forgive me."
My head hung in shame and he used his thumb and forefinger to lift my chin so our eyes met.
"Don't apologize Starfire. I can only imagine what you've been through, I know it's hard."
He was right. It is hard, so incredibly hard. I looked down at my wrist when I felt a familiar burning sensation, only to find that it had split open. Robin's eyes followed mine and he quickly got up from the bed and went into my bathroom. All I could do was stare at the bleeding J, the ugly representation of everything I went through. Robin was fast to return and he gently placed a pack of gauze over the wound. It hurt but I was so zoned out that I hardly noticed.
"Hey, come back to me babe."
He was busy putting pressure against my wrist to slow the bleeding so I tried to calm myself down by listening to his frantic breaths. We sat like that for a few minutes before he left and brought back a new pack of gauze with some medical tape. By the time he finished cleaning and wrapping my wrist, an hour had passed and I could only imagine how tired he was.
By now, I was back in the moment, it had taken me a bit to realize that I was not in that room again.
"Alright, that should be good for tonight and we can have Raven look at it further tomorrow. Let's try to get back to sleep yeah?"
I just nodded my head and he helped me lay back down before laying behind me so my back was against his chest. "Thank you Robin."
He only hummed a response, but it was enough for me to know he heard me.
I smiled and patiently waited for him to fall asleep. Once he was no longer conscious, I took comfort in just listening to his light snores, unfortunately I don't think I will be getting anymore sleep tonight.

Robin

I woke up to find an empty spot next to me and I immediately panicked. "Starfire?"
She shouldn't be out of bed, she's still too fragile. The familiar sound of running water brought me relief as I made my way to her bathroom. When I opened the door, steam immediately flooded from the large room and my muscles became tense.
"Star? What are you doing, you shouldn't be doing this without help."
I moved the curtain to the side, expecting to see her washing, instead, she was sitting beneath the scalding water staring at the wall.
"Star?" She didn't respond and I turned the water off before attempting to pick her up. She flinched when my hand touched her arm and her eyes looked up at me in terror. Tears started to fall down her wet cheeks and she pushed herself farther against the wall. "Please, no, please no more!"
She started to yell at me in fear, I cringed when I heard her bedroom door slam open. Raven rushed into the bathroom and took in the situation before her. BeastBoy and Cyborg were behind her, but she slammed the door shut before they could see Starfire.
"Raven, what's going on? Can you help her?"
Raven's face changed and she walked closer to Starfire. "Starfire. It's me."
Raven placed her hand on her arm, similar to where I did and closed her eyes.
I jumped when Ravens eyes turned white and she gasped.
"Oh Star."
I looked at her in confusion and she put her hand against Stars forehead. "Catch her head."
Starfires eyes widened when I approached and she started to scream as I put my hand behind her head.
"No! Do not touch me!" I cringed when she fell back. Raven put her to sleep.
"Hey, what's going on! Do you guys need help?" It was BeastBoy on the other side of the door.
I opened my mouth to respond but Raven beat me to it. "No, we have her, thank you." I heard their footsteps slowly walk out of the room.
"Get me that towel."
I nodded my head and reached into the cupboard above the toilet to retrieve a fluffy pink towel. Together, Raven and I gently wrapped Star in the towel and got her back to the bed. It only took a few minutes to get her dressed and tucked back in bed.
I turned and looked at Raven with a confused expression once Star was settled and she sighed.
"What was that? What happened?"