Forever Lost

20

The next few weeks were slow, occasionally the team would get called but it would only be for the smallest of crimes. Every time they left, I was forced to stay at the tower alone, however, it did give me a chance to practice some combat on my own. Nobody knew, but in my room, I had my own combat practice space set up in my rather large walk-in closet. The team had left about fifteen minutes ago and I had just finished preparing myself to practice. My hair was in a high ponytail and I was dressed in some flexible work out clothes that Raven had bought me. The first few punches were slow as I focused on my thoughts. The Joker's face flashed through my mind and my punches immediately intensified against the hard punching bag. My left leg swung in a strong roundhouse kick as I imagined myself kicking him in the ribs. I imagined the sound of his bones cracking and the cry's of pain he would release, just like he had made me do. The tears that streamed down my face caused me no concern and I hardly noticed how hard I was panting until I stopped twenty minutes later for a water break. My breathing was fast and I tried to control the sobs that wanted to take over as I rubbed my face with a towel. My knuckles hurt and my heart was pounding, but for some reason, I couldn't stop myself from going back one more time to have another small session for myself. Another thirty minutes passed and I was now completely sobbing. My eyes stung and I knew that I had broken the skin on my knuckles, but it was like I was stuck in this mindset of rage. All I could focus on was punching the Joker and making him feel the pain he caused me.
"Fuck,"
My breathing cut me off between words.
"You!"
My final punch finally took its toll on the weak punching bag as it flew from the small hook on my ceiling. I collapsed into myself and fell to the ground before putting my head in my hands and crying. I'm tired of crying and I hate being so weak, but I can't help it! I get these waves of pain and random memories that come out of the blue for no reason at all and it's going to be impossible for me to live a normal life again.
"Star?"
My head perked up and I gasped when I saw Robin looking between me and the punching bag with a confused look on his face. "What's going on? Are you ok?"
I looked away and tried to wipe my tears before he could see but he grabbed my hands and turned my face to his. His face was full of sympathy and it killed me.
"Please don't look at me like that, I'm not weak, I swear!" My body rebelled against my attempt to stay strong as more tears flowed from my green eyes. He smiled and wiped a tear from my cheek with his bare hand. "Star, you're one of the strongest women that I know, you are so far from weak sweetheart. You nearly died two times in the last three months and you lost your powers, yet, here you are training all by yourself. Everyone on the team is so proud to call you a Titan."
I couldn't help myself as I lunged at him. My lips forcefully landed on his and he fell backwards due to my excitement. His laugh echoed through the closet and I smiled. "I love you Robin."
"Call me Dick."
I stopped hugging him and just looked him in the eyes for a moment. "Dick? Why?"
He smiled at me and I couldn't help the thought at the back of my mind. "Is that your real name?" All he had to do was nod before my lips were on his again. I felt him smile against me and my tongue gently slid across his bottom lip, asking for permission. It was granted almost immediately and the closet soon felt like a sauna as we lost ourselves in each other. His hands were everywhere and they seemed to be touching me all over my body at once. My hands tangled in his now sweaty hair and I swear that we went together like two puzzle pieces that were born to be one.
I felt his fingers lightly tug at the bottom of my tight shirt and I leaned back so he could have easier access to take it off. It was only a few minutes before we were both fully exposed to each other. He carried me bridal style to my bed and gently laid me down with my head against one of my fluffy pillows. I allowed my fingers to trace his muscles while my eyes roamed over his toned body without shame. "Ro-" I stopped myself, "Dick, I love you."
"I love you too Kori." As we made love that night, I couldn't help the few stray tears that fell every once in a while, they were not sad tears however, they were tears of happiness. Our names fell from each other's lips and echoed off the walls of my room and I couldn't help but feel like this time was extra special between us. His name repeatedly fell from my lips in bliss and this was the first time I felt as though our love was something more than just a temporary relationship, this felt like it would last a lifetime.

I awoke the next morning with a feeling of peace and a smile on my face. That was the first night in a month that I had no nightmares wake me. Robin's arm was wrapped securely around my waist and he held me tight against his body. Light snores filled my ears and the room felt calm, until the sounds of BeastBoy and Cyborg fighting over a video game woke Robin- I mean Dick- up with a jolt. He groaned when he realized what the yelling was and I couldn't help but laugh at the pure annoyed look he gave me. "Good morning Star, did you sleep well?" My fingers lingered on his cheek as I smiled. "Yes, better than I have in a month."
His cheeks lifted and he sighed in contentment. "Good."
We laid there for a little longer just embracing in each other and enjoying our time alone before Dick left me to take a shower. I gracefully made my way to the kitchen and started to heat up some waffles. "Hey Star, what's shakin'?" I turned to BeastBoy and smiled. "Just making myself some waffles, what about you?"
A huge smile spread across his green face and his eyes lit up like firecrackers. "I just beat Cy' at a new racing game because he sucks." He made sure to make his last statement louder than the rest of the sentence so Cyborg could hear him. "Screw you grass stain." My head fell back as I laughed and the toaster popped, indicating that my breakfast was ready. BeastBoy left to have a rematch and left me alone with my thoughts. I was thankful that my appetite was returning to normal again, I was so skinny when I got back, now I look like I'm somewhat healthy. Dick soon returned from his shower and I was pleased when he sat next to me and ate his breakfast with his hand on mine.
We got comfortable and almost as if it were on cue, the emergency signal went off, there was an active robbery and before I knew it, I was left alone in the tower again; useless to my team while they risked their lives saving the city.
I used my spare time to practice some of the combinations Dick had taught me. It had been nearly an hour and a half since they left, and I was starting to get worried now. My long legs paced across the living room floor as I chewed on my fingernails as a nervous habit. A flash of light caught my eye and I turned to see an injured Dick being held up by Raven. Blood was sleeping through his uniform and my face went pale. Raven seemed fine however and she immediately brought Dick to the medical room. His head hung heavily against his chest and my breathing started to get faster. "Raven what happened?" She got some supplies out for stitches. "He got scratched pretty bad across his chest, he'll be ok, but he needs stitches quickly to stop the bleeding. Do you remember what I taught you?" My mind flashed to the week prior to now when Raven had taught me how to apply stitches. "Yes."
"I need to get back out there to help the guys, I need you to help him ok?" I was only able to nod my head before she disappeared with another bright flash. Dick was laying on the table and he was breathing hard. I immediately went to work. The first thing I did was cut his shirt down the middle to get it off of him without making him move. "Dick? Hey, I'm going to fix you just like you fixed me ok?" He only replied with a groan and I allowed myself to finally look at his injury. There was so much blood that it was difficult to really see the actual cut, but once I found it, I knew that I had a project ahead of me.
This would take a bit of time.

I'm alive guys! I'm so so so so so sorry for the wait! Thank y'all for sticking with me though! I have already started to work on the next chapter and just a note for the rest of the book, it's going to get 10x more exciting and action packed! I'm so excited to give it to y'all! I love you all so much! Thank you again for your commitment to me, it means so much!