Screen (Joshler)

Chapter 19

Today I realized how to end this. Not in this chapter or next though. But just know that I know!

Josh was in a white room. He immediately realized he was in  the hospital. He recognized the boring blank walls. Tyler's room had the exact same walls. He tried to sit up. Was Tyler here too? He felt a sharp pain in his chest and gave up and just lay down. Of course Tyler wasn't here. He wasn't allowed to see Tyler anymore. Why was he even in this hospital? This was the screen hospital, and there was nothing wrong with his screen, right? He sighed and closed his eyes. He had nowhere to go. He couldn't go back home. He couldn't go to Tyler... He ignored his pain and got up anyway. He ripped the wires out of his arm and grabbed something to steady himself. His legs felt weak. He started walking. Slowly. His legs carried him to the place he wanted to be most without his head even realizing it. He stepped into Tyler's room and looked at him. He looked so pale and fragile. So small. His face was still as beautiful as ever, even with all the scratches it had on it. "Tyler.." Josh whispered. He took Tyler's hand. His head hurt. A lot. His vision wasn't a hundred percent and his legs were shaking. But he didn't care about that. "Why won't you wake up, Tyler?" He whispered. "I love you Tyler.." He whispered. "I love you, Damn it!" He yelled, a sudden anger coming up. "I love you, Tyler! I love you, I love you, I love you!" A  nurse rushed in. It was Tyler's nurse Jenna. "Josh you have to-" She started carefully, taking his hand, but he pushed her away. "You're a nurse, why can't you save him?! Why can't you wake him up?!" She sighed softly. "Josh, there's nothing I can do for Tyler right now.. But if he wakes up.." If. If he wakes up. Not when. If. "He will wake up, I know he will! He has to!" Josh yelled. Jenna seemed a bit scared of him. But she tried to hide it. She had to be professional. "Josh, I have to ask you to leave now before I call for backup." Josh screamed. He just screamed in frustration. Why wouldn't Tyler wake up... "I love you, Tyler.." He whispered as he got dragged away.

"Josh..." Tyler called out. But Josh wasn't there this time. It was just him. He was sitting in a car, holding what seemed to be a tiny guitar. But it was a ukulele. He started playing it softly, singing a song. He hadn't written this one. It was a cover. He got up and out of the car. He started walking. He sang to a bold man on a tiny wall, and to a small group of people. And within a second he was inside a building, standing on a stage. The fans sang back to him. But Josh wasn't there. A single tear rolled down his cheek. Where was Josh? He closed his eyes and was back in the car again. He looked down as he sang the last few notes, more tears falling down his cheeks. "But I can't help.. Falling in love with you.." He whispered the last line and heard someone applauding. A single person. He looked behind him and saw Josh. A grin spread on his face as he saw him. "I love you.." Josh said. Tyler wiped his tears away. "I love you too, Josh." 

Josh was sitting on Tyler's doorstep. The hospital didn't sue him. They could see how hurt he was and didn't want to hurt him any more. It was raining. Josh was soaked. He'd walked there. Tyler's dad wasn't home yet. So Josh just sat there, waiting. He didn't know how long it took for Mr. Joseph to return. He didn't pay attention to the time. It could've been minutes or days. He honestly didn't know. He was shivering from the cold when Mr. Joseph finally arrived. "Josh? People are worried sick for you back in the hospital." Josh looked down and nodded. "I know.." He whispered. Mr. Joseph unlocked the door and let Josh in. "I get it that you don't want to go back to the hospital.." Josh nodded quietly. "That's okay. You can stay here but you have to get some rest." Josh nodded again. Mr. Joseph closed the door and walked into the kitchen. Josh stood in the hallway, water dripping from his hair and his clothes onto the floor. Mr. Joseph walked into the hallways with a cup of warm chocolate and handed it to Josh. "Drink up. I'll fill up the bath. You can borrow some of Tyler's clothes. What would you like to eat?" Josh stared at the cup and at Mr. Joseph. After a few seconds, he snapped out of his thoughts. He took a sip of the hot chocolate and nodded softly. "Anything's fine, thank you Mr. Joseph." He gave him a small fake smile. Mr. Joseph smiled softly and walked upstairs. Josh drank his hot chocolate. It was way too hot but he didn't give a shit. He drank and burned his mouth. 

"Ah, Josh. Perfect timing. dinner's ready." Josh sat down opposite of Mr. Joseph at the dinner table. Two plates. One for Josh and one for Mr. Joseph. They ate in silence. It wasn't really awkward but it wasn't comfortable either. Josh didn't know what to say. His head hung low. He poked at his food. He remembered the day Tyler yelled at him. Josh wished he could go back to that day. He would've done things differently. He would've followed Tyler into the woods. He would've done at least something instead of just staying with Tyler's dad and eating like nothing had happened. Josh stared at his food. "I'm not hungry." He whispered. Mr. Joseph looked at Josh. "Josh, you have to eat something.. I know that it's hard but Tyler would want you to keep eating." Josh teared up. "You make it sound like he's dead." He whispered. Mr. Joseph was quiet and Josh whispered an apology. He was sure Mr. Joseph was sad too. "I'm just really tired.." He mumbled. Mr. Joseph nodded, understanding. "You can sleep in Tyler's room." Josh nodded softly and walked up the stairs.

It was all too much. All the drawings, the lyrics, everything. Everything in Tyler's room was so sad. Josh should've helped him better. He picked up a small notebook from the floor and flipped through the pages. 'HeavyDirtySou'l, 'Heathens', 'Holding onto you.' Josh looked at all the songs. He put the notebook away and sat down on Tyler's bed. Tears started rolling down his cheeks. He wanted Tyler back. He wanted Tyler to lay with him on his bed and just stare at the ceiling with him. He missed Tyler. Surely, Tyler wasn't dead. But it felt like he was. And it was all his fault. At least, that's what the voice told him...