Domineering

Eighteen

As Eleanor leads me away from the dining room I just about catch some of the conversation.

"How many did we lose?" That's Harry speaking, I can tell by the deepness of his voice and also by how slow he is talking. There is a slight pause before someone answers; I'm only just able to catch the answer.

"Eight"

A sickening feeling rises in my stomach, I have to grab onto the banister for supports as Eleanor and I walk upstairs. 8 people. This is bad. Really bad. I really hope this isn't my fault. Just thinking about those 8 people who have lost their lives...if I'm the reason they have lost their lives then I just can't bear living with myself. And what about the opposing side? How many people did they lose? No. I can't think like this, it just can't be my fault. I haven't even done anything.

When Eleanor and I enter her room she guides me over to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Do you need anything?" She asks quietly, I shake my head, avoiding looking at her concerned eyes.

"I think...I just want to be alone" I manage to say though it's barely audible.

"Okay, I'll be down the hall in the other spare room if you need anything" she places her hand on my shoulder and then leaves.

Now I'm alone with nothing but my thoughts to torture me. I slowly slide off of the end of the bed and sit on the floor with my back resting against the side of the bed. I lean my head back and close my eyes. As soon as my eyes close flickers of the restaurant shooting flash into my mind. I jump slightly as I hear the first 55 gunshots, I can hear them so clearly it's like they're being shot in the room.

I look up as I hear the door slowly open, my eyes land on his green ones and I immediately stand up. He doesn’t say anything at first but he walks over and stands directly in front of me, the backs of my legs just touch the end of the bed. For a while we just stare into each other’s eyes, I search his eyes for what mood he’s in but I find nothing. I just hope he’s not mad at me, I can’t think why he’d be mad. I’m put at ease when he places his hand on my hip and strokes his thumb over my hip bone, I disconnect our eyes and look to the floo. We don’t speak for a while. I have no idea what to say, my thoughts are too busy trying to remind me of what happened at the restaurant, relaying everything I can remember. When Harry finally speaks his voice is so quiet that I question whether he’s actually spoke.

“I’m sorry you had to see that” I lift my eyes to look at his chest so I can see his face. His expression is surprisingly soft but his eyebrows are furrowed as if he’s in deep thought, his thumb still glides back and forth across my hip bone. In the distance I can quietly hear the people downstairs. “Talk to me” his voice is soft and pleading. I sink my teeth into my lower lip before speaking.

“I don’t know what to say” I reply, my voice is hoarse from crying. I let out a long breath before speaking again. “I just don’t understand...why would they do that? Why would they come in and just shoot?” My breathing is unsteady as I try not to cry. It doesn’t work, a few tears manage to fill my eyes.

“It wasn’t very well planned, clearly” Harry mutters, totally oblivious as to what I’m saying. I’m not commenting on how they carried out the shooting, I’m questioning why they would do it in the first place but he’s clearly too caught up with his ‘gang leader’ head on that he doesn’t catch on.

“No you understand Harry!” I sigh, getting frustrated. Haven’t I gone through enough?

“What can I do to help?” I’m surprised at how sincere he sounds though his face still remains unchanged.

“I just want to get out of these stupid clothes” I huff, gesturing to my jacket and dress which are growing extremely uncomfortable and restricting.

“I can do that” he grins cheekily and I struggle to hold in an annoyed groan.

“Really? You’re going to go that now?” I whine.

“I’ll do what I want” his whole demeanour changes instantly. His expression is hard, jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowed and muscles tenses. His hand grips onto my waist whilst the other has grabbed onto my upper arm.

“Harry stop” I whine, I wriggle in his grasp but he decreases the small space between us so he can intimidate me even more with his height. “Can’t you see that I’m shaken up?! I was just in a fucking shooting and you’re making joking about undressing me and being all intimidating. Do you really think that’s going to help?!” I shout up to him, not backing down due to the adrenaline pumping through my body. I really should’ve backed down though.

“Watch your mouth” he spits at me, he lifts his hand and points his index finger at my chest and I lean away from him as he does it.

“Stop it” I cry, more tears fill my eyes and I try desperately to get out of his hold. He chooses to acknowledge my discomfort enough to loosen his grip; I take advantage of this time and manage to pry myself away from him. I quickly step around him and hurry out the room and downstairs to the kitchen.

I walk through the kitchen silently, hoping that I'll go unnoticed but as soon as I step into the room it falls silent and I feel everyone watching me, I really hope they didn’t hear what just happened. I easily brush past people and make my way to the back door. A hand rests on my arm just as I grip hold of the door handle of the backdoor.

"I wouldn't do that" Louis warns me, I pull my arm away from his arm and open the door.

"I'm just going to get some air alright? I'm not going to jump over a fucking fence to escape" I huff before I step out into the cool evening air. I've never been out here before, it's quite a simple garden. It has a small cement porch with steps leading down to the grass. I step down and sit on the cold steps. I run my hands back and forth along my legs to create some warmth. My hands then softly brush along where Harry’s grip hurt me; my waist and my arm. I expect there will be some bruising there tomorrow. Taking a few long and deep breathes, I take a moment to enjoy my short time alone. It's not long before I hear some commotion in the kitchen.

"Where is she?!" I hear Harry's annoyed and desperate voice asks, moments after I hear the backdoor open and someone, I'm guessing Harry, steps out. Naturally, my body tenses and I stand to face him, expecting the worst. I look everywhere but his face, knowing that I won’t like what I see. Just an angered expression on his face is enough to send shivers down my spine.

 I hear him let out a sigh before he starts speaking, as he talks he kicks the tip of his shoe into the ground.

"I don't want it to be like this River" he pauses to take a breath "I'm not a bad person, I have good intentions and I'll stop at nothing to protect you, you already know that. The only way this is going to work is if we cooperate, I don't want to have to get physical with you" I immediately cower into myself at the memories of Harry beating me though I quickly try to hide it. "I don't like hurting you, you just have to trust me. I know it’s not easy so I'm going to let you go back to work tomorrow. It's not the safest thing to do, especially now but I'll be with you and I'll have my men surrounding the area. I'm doing this because I don't need more things going wrong, or people getting suspicious. We'll be visiting your parents soon too but you need to do as I say and this will go a lot smoother" his voice is authorities but there is also emotion laced within it. I find myself smiling because he's actually trying to make an effort with me. With us. I'm also smiling because I'm so excited to go back to work and see some familiar faces- friendly faces. Though I'm a bit apprehensive about being out in the open where anything could happen at any minute but I'm reassured because Harry will be with me.

"I can work with that" I say, nodding, I finally look at his face.

"Ok, well uh, get inside. It's cold out and I don't need you getting sick again" he scratches the back of his neck with a small smile on his face. As I walk past him to go inside I give him a smile in return.

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