Domineering

Twenty-Eight

Although my first day back to work went smoothly, my anxiety was inevitable as the days went on. The heavy burden of carrying this secret about the gang was getting to me. As my employees got comfortable with me being around, the conversations grew longer and I found myself on edge and thinking through what I was about to say. I'd tried to stick to being around Eleanor and giving everyone short answers, hoping they'd leave me so I could relax for just a moment.

I was suffering a never ending emotional battle. And this was only the beginning.

My anxiety didn't stop once I'd left work for the day as I returned to a round of 20 questions from Harry.

"What did you do today?"

"Who did you speak to?"

"Have you said anything about me?"

"Have you said anything about the gang?"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm only doing this for your safety."

After a week of the routine of waking up, going to work, coming home and sleeping, I was beginning to feel exhausted. The weekly session with Harley didn't help either. I have grown to hate the man, despite the amount of times Harry has told me 'it's to help me', but right now he was making me feel worse.

But after a week of Harry working long days and sometimes nights, he had managed to sort out Carina's police report. I didn't have to be on expert on this 'gang business' to know that they either hacked the files or had an insider get rid of it for them. I didn't care about how it was done, as long as I didn't have to deal with it then I didn't mind.

It feels weird admitting it. Almost wrong. I am going against my friends and morals for Harry. But what choice do I have?

I don't have any.

However, I thought Carina had been dealt with until….

I collapse on the couch, exhausted after a long day of preparing orders. Surprisingly Harry and Niall are in the house.

"We're going to the club at 9 so be ready by then" Harry stops in his tracks to tell me, then continues up the stairs.

Anxiety washes over me as the memories from the last time we were going to go out cloud my mind. I leap up from the couch and follow Harry up into his room.

“I-Harry” I start quietly, but choke on what I’m trying to say as my anxiety refuses to cease. He had been searching through his wardrobe but at the sound of my voice he looks over to me. “You’re not going to leave are you?” I ask, unable to convey my desperation for his presence. His expression turns to confusion and I continue in order to explain myself. “I mean…are you staying here to get ready? Because you left last time an-and I ca-” I snap my mouth shut as I ramble hysterically. Harry is quick to drop the shirt in his hand and strides over, wrapping his arms around me.

“Shh…calm down. I’m staying right here” my eyes flutter closed and I squeeze them tightly shut as I bury my head into Harry’s chest, hands clinging to the fabric of his shirt. “We’re getting ready here, I’m not leaving” he continues to comfort me and it helps to calm my breathing.