CLARKE:
A week had past since The Prince of Azgeda captured me and brought me to kneel before Lexa. I had no intention of ever returning from the wilderness. I was done with war, with fighting and the pain that came with it. A choice was made, forsaking friends and family for a life of solitude.
After the events at Mount Weather, the death I brought to those in the mountain, I could no longer walk the path of a leader. I embraced my demons, kept them close, screamed back at them in the dead of night when they came for me in my sleep.
Surviving on my own with a life of unconsequence, I had closed off my emotions and my heart. That's what she always told me, "love is weakness," now more than ever I was ready to embrace that.
So here, I find myself in a situation once again, a decision to be made that would change everything. Dagger in my hand, conflict in my mind, I sat playing with the sharp blade waiting for her to enter the room. She betrayed me when I needed her the most. She told me she cared and I believed her. I could feel myself falling in love, only to have my heart shattered.
Lexa left my people to die, the decision should have been easy. Take the dagger and put it through her heart. Make her feel what I felt at Mount Weather when I stood with tears in my eyes watching the girl I wanted to love walk away into the night. The blade gleamed in the light, sharp and deadly. I know killing Lexa would probably cost me my life but I hadn't put any value on my own existence for a long time. Maybe death was the only way to find peace in this world.
I could hear footsteps approaching, yet I still hadn't made up my mind. I wrap myself up in the lie that I no longer care. The truth is, through it all, the betrayal and heartache, could I really end the life of the girl I still loved?
