CLARKE:
The situation in Arkadia with Pikes vendetta against The Grounders had escalated to the point of disaster. Octavia had been brought before Lexa to answer for the crimes of Skaikru. Knowing that Octavia didn't share Chancellor Pikes political views, Lexa had stood fast with her, 'blood must not have blood' policy. The clans were once again on the edge of an uprising.
My position in Polis was also at risk. Even though Lexa had blockaded Arkadia and enforced a 'kill order' to prevent further incidents, the clans were not satisfied. They knew that Pike would never obey the ruling of any grounder even Heda herself. I feared for my people, for my safety and also for Lexa's.
After Octavia was freed we spoke about leaving Polis. She knew Lexa had asked me to stay in The Capital with her, but was insistant that I should put my duty to my people first. She left me alone with a difficult decision to make. Looking out of my window in Polis Tower, I searched the land for an answer. I had begun to veiw The Capital as my home. Arkadia felt like a distant memory, I wasn't even sure I'd be safe if I returned there. Pike would almost certainly see me as more grounder than Skaikru. I sighed at my conflicted thoughts, knowing that the real reason for not wanting to leave Polis was because of Lexa.
I had come to Polis under the shadow of hate, never wanting to see her again. Now I couldn't bear to leave her. My heart was breaking. All wanted to do was stay, to lay my heart on the line and tell her I loved her. We've sacrificed so much at the expense of our own peace, always duty before anything else. I wanted the world to just fall away leaving only the two of us, lost from our obligations, free to be together. It seems at every turn this world wanted to tear us a part, leaving us broken. I felt tears in my eyes for a choice I didn't want to make. What was I to do? Should I walk back into the fires of Arkadia? Or should I stay with the only person I've ever felt understood me, the one person who made my heart race, the girl I'd fallen in love with.
