⟫Lauren Cimorelli One-Shots⟪

-Dead Hearts-

*MAJOR Trigger Warning*
This chapter contains fictional instances/acts of depression, death, GRAPHIC self harm, and suicide, please read with caution!!
(seriously guys, please have a grip on your own triggers and read safely!)

(A/N) ALSO sidenote, this one-shot contains flashbacks that are conveyed using italicized writing to represent looking down on past events (like a memory of sorts), and asterisks to represent the passage of time, so don't be confused!! 

Dani's POV:

***

"Babe c'mon, just ONE more episode!"
Lauren groans, digging a pillow out from beneath her to bury her gorgeous face into and whine playfully, like a cute child who wasn't getting their way. Well two could play at that game, and I threw my arms around her neck, nuzzling my face into her crook and kissing the warm skin.
"Pleaaaase?"

Lauren giggles uncontrollably at the feeling of my lips against her most sensitive spot, tickling her. She puts her hands on my shoulders in a futile effort at pushing me away, her head thrown back until eventually she submits. 
"Okay, okay, fine you win! DANI STOP!!"
I'm laughing heartily now too, and once her face is red with laughter and she's out of breath I pull away, earning a playful wack in the arm by my flustered older sister and girl friend. 

"You're a brat, but fine one more."
I smile, planting a firm kiss on her crimson cheek. She rolls her eyes but a smile's hidden in the corners of her mouth showing me that really she loved the affection. I grab the remote, searching for episode 8 of season 5 Full House while me and Lauren resumed our previous cuddly position, me the big spoon and her the little spoon, one of my arms wrapped around her chest and a leg swung over her hip to ensure that her body wasn't going anywhere unless it was pressed against mine. 

The theme song to Full House begins playing and we both hum along, having heard it for maybe the hundredth time tonight. Half way though Lauren lays her head back against my chest, looking up at me with a smiley, mischievous look. I chuckle.
"What is it?"
Lauren shakes her head, but her smile grows as she does this, and one of her hands snakes carefully up to my face.
"Nothing."

 A soft fingertip taps each of my freckles and draws invisible and delicate lines on my face almost as if the sun kissed portions of skin are stars and she's creating constellations. 
"I just love you."
I grab her hand, pulling it gently from my cheek to my mouth, and kiss her adorably crooked fingers. She giggles like a child as I do this, reveling in the feeling.
"I love you too."

***

"Dani please, please just put the dress on okay? We have to go Dan, I know you don't want to but-"
Lisa's shaky voice finally broke, and I watched from the window's reflection as she fell to her knees on the carpeted floor, sobbing into the palms of her hands. I didn't turn to face her, I kept staring blankly outside my bedroom window, watching as beads of rain raced each other down the glass. Thunder clapped somewhere in the distance, I think, but with the ringing in my ears it was hard to tell. 

I wasn't going to the funeral. They couldn't make me. I wasn't going to put on some scratchy, black, lacy dress Lauren would have laughed to see me in. I wasn't going to take a shower for the first time in 2 weeks, I wasn't going to brush my teeth, I wasn't going to make myself look nice to go look at my dead big sister. My dead best friend. My dead girlfriend. 

I knew the kind of clown makeup they put on corpses to make them look less dead. I knew it wouldn't really look like her. I knew the amounts of foundation they were going to use to try an cover the pages of written scars on her arms, or the rope burns from around her delicate neck. The kinds of highlight they were going to paint on to make her look a little less grey. A little more alive. Well she wasn't, Lauren was dead, she had been for 3 days, and going to look at her propped up falsely in some fucking box before they buried her 10 feet under ground wasn't going to bring her back.