[♤]: THE ANARCHIC DELINQUENTS

Chapter 32: "FATE"

CHAPTER 32

THE BADDEST DELINQUENTS

“FATE”

WRITTEN BY: VASILISA ROSEMARIE SABINA

“Kumain ka na?” tanong ko kay Alexander pagkasara ng pinto ni Claryne. Umiling siya as his answer kaya kinuha ko ‘yung Thai Box na binili ko sa baba, harapan ng buliding. May nagtitinda kasing mga naka mobile food trucks.

“I bought you Thai Box. Take painkillers later, okay?” Tinabihan ko siya sa kama at sinubuan.

“What took you so long?” he finally asked.

“Nag stay ako ng 3 hours kay Alexei. I cried and wishing to bring his life back. I want my bestfriend back. Then I bought us clothes,” I answered, honestly.

“I’m here,” nag aalangan niyang sabi.

“I know and you won’t leave me, right?” I’m being sentimental and emotional again. D[a]mn it.

“Yes,” nag aalangan na naman niyang sabi. What’s wrong, Alexander?

“Sorry sa kanina. I didn’t mean to—“ Hindi ko na natapos ‘yung sinabi ko dahil bigla niya ‘kong niyakap ng mahigpit.

“No, don’t be. It’s alright. It’s my fault, anyway.” I found myself nodding as I hugged him back. I missed this. I’m still hungry for it and always be.

“I love you, darling. To death.”

“I love you too, Alexander. You know that.”

“Yes, I can feel it. Always. I promise I won’t hurt you anymore.” Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya.

“It’s okay. Ayos lang basta nasa tabi kita, basta sa ‘kin ka umuuwi tuwing gabi.” Naiiyak kung sabi sa kanya, fighting back my tears. Fortunately, I won.

“No. Alexandra, ang dami kung kasalanan sa ‘yo. I don’t know what to do anymore. I kept trying to avoid for hurting you again and again but in the end I always failed and hurt you more. I don’t know what to do. I hate myself for being like this. I really need your help now,” he managed to say. He’s crying. I can feel it because shirt is wet right now.

Is he willing to sacrifice his freedom now? Nagpapatali na ba talaga siya sa ‘kin? I have the right because I’m his wife now. But I’m scared that he might leave me for whatever reason. Na baka masakal ko siya, na baka bigla siyang mag sawa sa ‘kin. This is freaking d[a]mn hard than being chased by the countless police cars. I don’t really know what’s happening to me right now. Hindi ako gan’to. Dati, hindi ako takot mawalan pero bakit ngayon parang takot na takot na ‘ko? This is it, I s[u]ck at love. We both do. Do we even know how? We do love each other, but why are we hurting each other? Maybe, that proves. We do really s[u]ck at it.

I promised that I’ll help him. I don’t know pero mas mapapadali sa ‘kin ‘yung talagang pag akin sa kanya. Isa lang naman ang dapat kung gawin para matulungan ko siya. Be more possessive. This is for us. I think Alexander as an abnormal human. How come he can’t control his flirty-ness? It’s stupid. If he really loves me, he’ll change. But I think that’s one of cliché sh[i]ts. What if he’s just testing me? No, Alexander will never do that. He knows that I love him and we love each other. Even though sometimes, we s[u]ck at expressing it. It’s not our fault. We’re not pro. sa mga ganitong mais kesong kaganapan.

“D[a]mn, Alexander. You really do s[u]ck at love,” I teased while wiping his tears. I hate it when he’s crying because of me. I hate being his dilemma.

“So do you,” he teased back. Tapos ko na siyang mapakain. Nag bihis na rin ako after I checked my fatties before going back to Alexander at pinainom siya ng painkillers. Alexander said naka inom na sila ng gatas gamit ‘yung brinest pumped ko na naka lagay sa cooler.

We’re okay again.

We decided to go to sleep because of our tiredness. This day was a long day. We can’t go to school tomorrow. Ayaw pa ni Alexander since hindi pa okay ‘yung paa niya and he wants family day for us.

I pretended to be asleep while waiting him to say his nightly sweet message to me. Every night, lagi siyang may sweet message sa ‘kin ang kaso nga lang kapag tulog lang ako. Nalaman kong ginagawa niya ‘yun every night kapag hindi ako makatulog but nag papanggap pa rin akong tulog. Eto rin ang problema kay Alexander, torpe siya. Torpe siya kahit kami na. Torpe pa rin siya kahit mag asawa na kami. Kaya tuwing tulog lang ako siya nag vo-voice out ng sweet feelings niya towards me. Pretend asleep, though. Hanggang matapos na siya. I love hearing his sweet messages every night. It’s why I’m coming up strong everytime na may nagagawa siyang nakakasakit sa ‘kin. Do’n ako humuhugot ng lakas, sa mga patagong mensahe niya sa ‘kin. Every night, hindi nawawala ‘yung hundreds of sorry niya kahit wala siyang kasalanan at kahit pinatawad ko na siya bago pa siya mag sorry.

“I really didn’t mean to entertain that b[i]tch. I know I hurt you for doing that but I won’t do it again. I’m sorry. I don’t know, I think saying sorry isn’t enough. I’ll try my best. I’ll try. I’ll try my best to be the best husband and father to our family. You and our children are now my world now. You’re my queen and not just a princess. I always hurt without me noticing it but I love you so so much that I could die peacefully in your arms if I can. You mean so much to me, hindi ko na kayang mawala ka. I need your patience with me even though “patience” isn’t in your dictionary. I’ll always be by your side. I’ll take care of you. I’ll treasure like you’re the only queen in this world. You’re mine and I’m yours, always be, and even afterlife. Don’t be afraid to voice out your negative feelings for me. Don’t be afraid of being more possessive to me because I really don’t care, in fact, I love it. Gustong gusto kung nakikita at naririnig na inaangkin mo. If you think that I might leave you just because of that then stop thinking of that thought because I won’t. I won’t leave you, not again. Madami na ‘kong maling ginawa at pinagawa sa ‘yo, ayoko nang madagdagan pa ‘yun. Ayoko nang mawala ka ulit. Masakit, mahirap. Alam kung nasasaktan na kita ng sobra at paulit-ulit pero hindi ko alam kung paano pa ‘ko makakabawi sa ‘yo . . . I’m sorry, Alexandra,” he said quietly in a husky voice, hugging me tightly behind my back. “I love you to death and afterlife, Alexandra,”  he added then drifted off to sleep.

I waited for 5 minutes to respond to him. Humarap ako sa kanya. He’s already sleeping. Kahit na tulog siya ang gwapo pa din niya.

I caressed his face and brushed my lips against him.

“I love you too. We promised to ride or die, remember? Every day and night. I’m your ride or die wife. I’ll always be down for you in everything and anything or in any situation. I will always willing to stick with you, be with you even if the death is the ultimate fate of our relationship.”