We are the ghouls of London // PHAN

•CHAPTER FOURTY-FIVE•

sorry for a lack of updates -- I have my Business GCSE in exactly one week (screams) and I am super nervous. I just want to do this exam, have my holiday, have my birthday, do the second business GCSE and then get through fucking July then BAM,, 6 weeks of pure heaven and sleeping in till noon.
          Anyways, enjoy!

•••

The driveway up to the front door of PJ's house was rather short, with a large array of green plants and bright flowers littering its border. Being careful as he edged his way around the rather expensive black Mercedes GLE SUV on the driveway, Dan managed to make it up the steps in front of PJ's home and to the red front door with a brass lion knocker positioned dead in the centre of it, and a peep hole just above.

Taking a couple of deep breathes and gaining the courage he needed, Dan reached up and knocked the door. He took a step back, so the heels of his feet were hanging over the edge of the top concrete step as he waited for the door to be opened.

It was, and there stood PJ. He was still in the same maroon coloured hoodie and black skinny jeans as he had been wearing at school, but his red converse had been replaced with a pair of mismatch socks, one being lime green stripes and the other kawaii pizza's with eyes.

"Dan?" PJ questioned when he saw Dan stood on his doorstep, an eyebrow raised out of what was most likely confusion, "What are you doing here?"

"I... I'm here to see... Phil..." Dan stuttered. Damn his social anxiety making him look like an utter awkward mess at this current moment.

"Phil? And did he invite you here himself? Or have you stalked me all the way home from school?" PJ snapped angrily.

Confused at what had caused PJ a sudden change in attitude, Dan responded in a calm manor, trying to look like PJ's sudden out burst hadn't startled him, "No, I didn't 'stalk' you home. Phil text me actually, and gave me your address."

"Prove it."

Dan blinked before chuckling, "I don't have to prove myself to you..."

"Actually you do. Because if you even think you can just wander into my house without showing me said message, you are obviously thicker than you look..."

A deeper, annoyed voice came from behind PJ, startling him, "Well you are obviously the thick one aren't you PJ because it's not just your house because I live here now don't I? Your parents have actually adopted me, and its official because your dad has shown me the paper work. So now its our house, wether you like it or not. And I can invite who I like to our house."

PJ sighed, "You could have told me..."

"I don't have to tell you anything," Phil cut in once again, walking forwards towards where Dan stood outside the house in the cold winter breeze, "I don't have to tell you nothing. So why don't you go play one of your vile video games where you kill innocent people and me and Dan will go talk and laugh in my room."

"It's Call Of Duty Phil. You're meant to kill the people. And they're not innocent..."

"Everybody is innocent until you get to know them, PJ, even ghouls," Phil snapped.

PJ huffed off, obviously realising he had lost the argument between them. Phil watched him stomp off up the stairs and only turned back to Dan after hearing the satisfying slam of PJ's bedroom door, "Please, come in, Mr. Howell," Phil welcomed.

After stepping in, Phil closed the door behind him, "So. Adopted?"

Leading Dan up the staircase, their fingers intertwined with each others, Phil nodded, "Yeah... after dad died... the Liguori's decided it would be the best idea to actually adopt me into their life," they came to a room and Phil pulled him in, reviling that this in fact was Phil's new room in this new house, "I still have the same last name, but I just feel so... trapped."

They sat beside one another on the double bed positioned in the middle of the room. Dan watched as Phil took Dan's hand in his lap and began to mess with his fingers. He stayed quiet as he listened to Phil as he continued to talk, "It doesn't all feel real. Like at any second, I am going to wake up from this nightmare and find myself back at home with my dad still alive and happy and jolly. But I know that won't happen. And it never will. It feels like that for the rest of my life, I am going to be trapped in what feels like a whole new universe, where nothing makes sense, nothing feels real, nothing is where it belongs."

"I know its going to sound crazy, but I know how you feel," Dan spoke calmingly, "When my dad was alive too, he always made sure we were happy as a family, he was the one who kept us all together, a bit like how glue does. And when the glue disappears, everything breaks and falls apart. My mom never has and more then likely never will become the mom we truly deserve. It's as though she only ever focus' on getting her life back together, not mine and Adrian's. She doesn't care about us, so I have to do it for us. It's like all of a sudden I have transformed into being the mom, the dad and the brother that Adrian needs, where as before I was the chilled out brother who did have time to play games with Adrian and I did have time to take him out to the park and I did have the time and money to go buy him what he wants. But I can't. Because I'm the mom who cooks, the dad who protects him from the big scary world and I am too stressed out to be the brother who brings him joy."

Phil stared at Dan as he spoke. Dan was on almost the same page as him, "How does Adrian cope? You know, with all of this happening."

"Adrian was only young when Dad died. He still is young. For his entire life technically, this is all he has been use to. Mom not caring and me doing all the hard work; its regular. But since I'm older, since I know how kind and gentle and playful mum use to be, I find it harder to cope with."

Phil stopped messing with Dan's fingers and their eyes met as they looked towards one another. His eyes were brown... but their usual shine was gone. They were dull, plain but Phil still loved them.

And vice versa. To Dan, Phil's blue eyes, which use to be filled with mysterious depth with a mixture of blue and green as the main colour with a hint of yellow, this was all gone and left with his eyes looking hollow and dull. The bags under his eyes were heavier, darker, and stood out more on his now even paler skin due to a lack of all important sleep.

What had he done? This was all his fault. He was the one who killed his dad, the only thing left to Phil, his dad was the glue that held him together. And now his dad had gone, and just as how the loss of his dad caused Dan's family to collapse, Phil was having the same effect.

He didn't move as he felt Phil become a lot closer to Dan. Phil's body heat was now radiating off of him and Dan could feel Phil's warm breath tickling his neck gently. The coldness of Phil's hand suddenly coming into contact with his cheek made a shiver rush down his spine. He just continued to keep his eyes locked with Phil's the entire time.

Closing the small gap, Phil pressed his lips upon Dan's, and kept them there. They felt warm and comfortable and Dan enjoyed the feeling of them against his own lips. His eyes were shut closed, and he slowly began to kiss back, not wanting to rush Phil. After all, he had been through a lot over the last 24 hours...

"Hey Phil! Mom wants to know what you want for dinner- oh my fucking god..."