Soft cushions were always a favorite in your world. So I made sure the chair was soft and comfortable for you. The first time you sat on it, you looked up at me and smiled. Telling me it was exactly how you wanted it. I laughed and teased you about your picky personality, you only giggled and shook your head.
You lifted the fall board, you brush the keys with your soft and delicate hands, you smile softly as you pull out a folded paper from your pockets, telling me that it was my favorite song. I was amazed and was pulled down onto the bench.
You unfolded the sheet and placed it on the rack, scanning it carefully before nodding to yourself. You positioned your fingers onto the keys, slowly pressing down and playing the piece. You memorized it. You played the piece with no fault.
You did it just for me.
Note by note you practiced it.
Day by day.
And now you're teaching me this. You play the notes one by one, wait for me to play the note and understanding my situation. You were confident and you had faith in me when I told myself I wouldn't be able to master this piece.
You'd always play the other hand and when I finally got it correctly, I'd play the other hand. We sounded great. Although the first few tries weren't amazing, I got the hand of it. We were like the perfect duet.
Everyday, when we were sad, angry or just in love. We'd play this together. You'd always play the first note, I'd follow eventually.
I'd always replay those moments of you teaching me. When you'd gently place your hands on mine when I began panicking, playing the piece slowly just for me. Waiting for me by the piano, waiting for me to show up.
One time I didn't but you told me it was okay and fed me food.
I knew that everything would be okay.
I was assuming and It felt correct.
Good lord, you assumed too much.
You thought everything was okay, but..
Sirens were all I could here. This isn't happening.
We both knew it wouldn't last. Even if we tried.
You were holding onto me, pleading for the pain to end.
We laughed and smiled together. Played the piano.
The ambulance arrives.
But..
You get pulled away from my arms.
We would never..
You were losing it.
Ever..
You're not here.
Ever..
You're gone.
Make it.
Maybe they were right. I was too in love.
~~~
I walk into the room. It was empty and silent, walls decorated with nothing and the windows looking broken. The piano was still there. I tore down decorations, they reminded me too much of you. I never entered this room.
Until today. I breathed for the first time in this room, whenever I'd step one foot here, I always found it difficult to breath. I never continued another foot. I was too afraid I'd have to re-live the moment.
I walked slowly to the piano. I was afraid, I'll admit.
I was afraid that I forgot the most important piece.
I sat down, brushing away the dust on the fall board and lifted it up.
The keys were a little dusty and a little old, haven't touch these in a while. Felt wrong to when I can't see your hands completing everything. I knew you would have wanted something else for me. But I think we can both agree when I say; I don't want to do those things.
I place a finger on the key.
I place a finger on the key.
I played my part.
I played my part.
With no fault.
With lots of fault.
Thanks to you.
But thank you for teaching me.
You played your part.
You're not here.
You smile softly at me.
To teach me anymore.
You laugh at me.
To make me happy.
You make me feel secure.
To bring light into my life.
You are my life.
You..
You..
You're not here to love me.
