365 Days

April 19th 2016

April 19th 2016...

If I'm being dead honest, it's 12 minutes past my "bedtime" given to me by Barb for weight loss essentials and I totally forgot about writing this so I'm gonna have to make it quick.

April 19th was the turn around day. And by turn around day, I mean turn back day. It was when hell broke lose, the day I realized April 17th wasn't just a bad day, but the start of a bad year.

School was okay. Actually, I started getting bad vibes from Jess the night of the 18th. He seemed pretty disinterested when I showed him May Belle and my hand-artwork. As the night passed, so did his certainty.

These little things called vibes actually took the light from my eyes the day of the 19th. I could tell Jess was about to get all iffy and uncertain again so I kept my distance, not wanting to force myself on him if he didn't want me.

During school, I was okay but nothing more than that. I was sad inside, somehow hoping my senses were wrong. But now, I wasn't so sure. And after school, it'd been confirmed.

Jess gave me the bitterly cold shoulder. I should've expected this, like I should've expected his extraction on April 17th, but again, like April 17th, when it all went down, I broke like a pregnant girl's water.

It was terrible. I could feel it, stone cold, the way he spoke to me. It wasn't a thing like they way he had over the last 2-ish years. I knew something was up. He just seemed like he had the very first day I met him; uninterested, pissed off or most likely, both.

May Belle slept with me that night and we sorta hashed it out. I thought April 17th was just a fluke but I'd been wrong as wrong can be. May Belle told me that Jess can be misleading and just because he's on your side today, doesn't mean he will be tomorrow.

Which has been the basis of my life for the entirety of the last year we've spent "together."

April 17th was the foundation for what April 19th continued. Hatred, miscommunication, misunderstanding, uncertainty, lost, and loneliness. And then I had no idea it was going to last a year and more.