365 Days

April 16th 2016

April 16th 2016...

I've always remembered this day as the day I don't remember anything about.

Shockingly enough, for the longest time I believe it was the night of the AskFM harassment by Scott and Gary but that could also have been April 15th and maybe even the 18th.

Honestly, I don't know. I don't remember exactly. But because April 15th was a Friday, April 16th was a Saturday. And Saturday meant church.

I found one of my old tweets through May Belle's twitter account which happened to say, and I quote "I've reverted to ranting to an eight-year-old. What's happened to me?"

Honestly, it struck something in me. I immediately remembered walking past the first set of stairs in the church, talking to May Belle who walked beside me. Obviously, it had something to do with Jess. I don't have to remember a thing about the moment to know that much about it.

And so I was more innocent than I ever thought I'd describe myself as that day. I had no idea that one year from then, I'd still be living it. If someone was able to somehow translate this to me, I honestly don't know if I would've kept living. I honestly can't even say for sure.

But because I didn't know, I walked boldly through it, the same way I would have regardless. Goes to show that knowledge and hope can be the difference between life and death.