365 Days

April 29th 2016

April 29th 2016...

Honestly, I don't even want to think about life right now. But here I am. Because I haven't done one of these in a couple days since it's all been a little hectic but tomorrow's the last day possible so I'm gonna do this here, now, while I'm bored.

Grace and I have spent the day together. One year ago today, I'd planned to shut them all out for as long as I could. As long as I could turned out to be four months. Thanks to Tom, that is. He's bold.

Anyway, April 29th was the first day Jess and I interacted since the 19th. Except this time, we got into a physical rat. Yeah, I can't really remember it but it happened.

We hit each other and were broken up by his mom. If his dad had been home, back in that day, Jess would've had his ass kicked. No doubt.

So things weren't looking up. One year ago, Jess and I were beating the snot out of each other.

And one year later, we've both come to an executive agreement that being together is not in either of our best interest right now, cause it doesn't take long for one or both of us to get hurt.

Jess and I hadn't talked for a month until last night. When we did, he explained why he hadn't and for the first time in a year, it actually made enough sense for me to believe it true.

He said that Maddie and he talked secretly and she told him that I hardly talked about him and was doing fine. But whenever Jess and I got back together for like a day and then it broke one or both of our hearts days later at best, he decided the best way to keep the healing process going was to not get together at all.

And maybe he was right.

I can't deny it. With nothing good happening between us, nothing bad can happen between us. Which is why Jess's decision to stay away from me makes sense, and I agree.

So now, we're not together, not speaking but I don't have to sit here and wonder why. I know and I'm okay. It makes sense, it's for the best.

Tomorrow is the last day of April. Which means the end of this story. I may do one tomorrow, I may not. So just in case I don't, I wanna have at least a little closure here.

I dreaded doing these sometimes but it's got me through April 2017 as I got through April 2016 and now, just like my old diary entries remind me of what happened in 2016, I have these to remind me of what happened in 2017.

Thanks to all the readers for reading this one. The end of it will most likely mean more updates on some of my other stories. So look forward to that!

Best of luck to you guys and definitely don't forget to give A Life Rescued a read if you haven't. It's stellar.

Have a great May, everybody!

Xoxo,
Leslie Ashlyn Burke.
04/29/2017
11:07pm.