Chase
I paced my living room pushing the vaccum cleaner across the tan carpet as a method to calm my nerves. The bell rang and I sighed, wiping my sweaty palms down my black joggers before looking around the living room. The giggling on the other side of the door let me know that both my sisters had arrived at the same time and I couldn't tell whether I was relieved by that or not.
"Brother!" Alysia squealed as she wrapped her arms around me while Megan gave me a half smile. "I hope you have food for this little gathering that's so important." She huffed as she passed us and headed straight for the kitchen. I went to follow her, but Megan grabbed ahold of my wrist to get my attention.
"Hey. Real quick, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about Levi. I hope it doesn't-"
"Oh no. It's okay." I smiled. "I'm not upset. Everything isn't for everyone."
"Are you okay?" She wondered, scrunching her brows together making me think that she was seeing right through me. I didn't answer because I didn't want to stand in her face and lie.
"I just need to talk to y'all." I reminded, feeling anxiety begin to creep up on me. I was torn between wanting to hurry and get it out or stall for as long as I could.
I didn't realize that I was sitting in silence on the couch in between both my sisters who were staring at me, waiting for me to say what I needed to.
"Boy, you're starting to make me nervous." Alysia chuckled, but my lack of amusement forced her to cease her laughter. "Oh Jesus, tell me this isn't bad news," she begged and I finally breathed out.
"No, no. I mean. I don't know. Well, no." I rambled and Megan grabbed ahold of my hand surpsingly making me feel a bit at ease. "Lee, I really hope you aren't upset with me," I began as I prepared to tell them about the abuse that I used to receive from my father.
I could remember how hurt Alysia was when she heard about what he had done to Megan and her step daughter and couldn't believe her father could have done such a thing. Literally. She wouldn't believe it and even stopped speakin with Megan and I wasn't prepared to have that same treatment.
"Why would I be upset with you?" She asked reminding me that I was once again sitting in silence, trapped in my own thoughts. Just ber vouce made me regret my decision to not just tell Megan first. I was never shy or nervous about anything, but to have to open my mouth to finally speak on what I endured as a child was scary shit.
"I never doubted anything you told me about my dad, Meg." I contined, focusing my attention on her. "I never doubted it becaused I knew you weren't lying, and I knew you weren't lying because he did the same to me." I blurted and felt my own heartbeat increase before it slowed to a steady, relaxed pace.
"I never saw it coming. I didn't get the looks or the feels first. I guess he learned from you leaving, Meg, to take advantages of opportunities while he had them. The first time was when I was seven after my little league team lost the champtionship. I remember him grunting and saying "oh look, you can do something right." Mom made barbeque chicken and mac and cheese for dinner that night because she knew it was my favorite, but I couldn't eat it. She thought it was because I was sad about the game, I guess. I thought maybe I was being punished for letting him down and losing or something. But then when we won the championship the next year later, he grunted and proudly mumbled "that's my boy." I knew by the time I was ten that my mom knew. She had to because he stopped waiting until she went out for groceries and would do it when she was in the shower or doing the dishes. I would make sure to be extra loud so that she could hear or threated to scream so that he would hit me and she could see the bruises, but she pretended she didn't every time." I didn't look at either of them as I spoke, only my my phone as I scrolled through my instragram timeline not really paying attention to anything that was on it. I needed it as a distraction so I wouldn't have to see pity in their faces.
