Alysia.
The air was bitter as I got out of my car and trotted my brown booties along the sidewalk until I reached my destination. My hands grew clammy as I found myself finally making my way up the six steps to the front door. I wasn't used to this neighborhood, but he never seemed to stay in one place for too long.
I was supposed to be at the airport, but my feet and my heart led me here. I could feel my phone vibrating against the inside of my large chestnut leather tote but I knew better than to answer. If I did, I wouldn't be knocking on the heavy wooden door.
"Baby girl!" He greeted and I smiled, walking into his warm embrace.
"Hey daddy."
It took no time for the bitter February cold to be replaced with that of his warm living room. It was small. Nothing like what he had when living with my mother and I but that seemed to be so long ago. He had been through a lot of homes, women, and children since then.
"I'm so glad you found the time to come visit your old man. I was starting to think you didn't love me anymore." He joked and I found myself flashing a fake smile his way.
For all of my life, I had been a daddy's girl but thinking of how he treated my siblings made me wonder what made me so lucky. Until I realized maybe I wasn't.
"Are Chase and I your only children? And Megan, even though she isn't blood?" I asked as I walked through his apartment to the small kitchen and went for the first cabinet I could find that looked like it might contain alcohol.
"As far as I know." He chuckled while I took a swig from the bottle of brown liquor and felt the burn in my chest. "Why? Is someone claiming to be my child?" He wondered but I didn't answer. Only made my way back to the couch and waited for him to pop a squat beside me.
I took in how quiet the apartment was. No TV, music or voices of other people or even voices outside and I wondered if it was simply me being too zoned out to notice. I took another drink from the bottle that had traveled from the kitchen back to the living room with me.
"Everything okay, sweetie?" He asked and I looked up at him.
"No. My life is a mess. I've lost everything. My husband, my unborn, my mother in law, the respect of some of my closest friends and now." I said turning my body to look at him.
My dad was always my best friend. My king. The man who showed me what I deserved in a man and what I should never deal with. He was teaching me long before I had begun dating to never deal with a man like him, so again I was wondering why.
"I can understand Megan." I began. "I mean, I really can't, but I thought maybe your sickness resulted from her not being biologically yours. I thought maybe you lusted after her because your blood didn't run through her veins, but Chase." I chuckled. "Your blood does run through his veins and I guess I just want to know why. I really need to know. Why did you do what you did to them? What made you this way? Who hurt you for you to prey on children, and even worse children of your own?" I said all in one breath before I watched him stand.
"What in the fuck are you talking about Alysia?" The boom in his voice had guilt laced all in it. "I never did anything to any child what kind of pedophile do you think I am?"
"The kind of makes a girl run away from his own home, the kind who makes his own son question his sexuality and the kind who makes a little girl with no relation to him remember her fourth birthday for the worst reasons. That kind." I snapped and he blinked rapidly as he stared down at me. "They can't all be lying. And remember, I watched you come out in handcuffs at my niece's birthday party."
