The Demons Inside. [ZM AU]

Ch: 05 || Pain.

{{I'm confused, I haven't received any comments and I really did think people liked this story?:( -Tanisha .xox}}

"It's okay if you try and sleep now." Nathan was trying hard to speak soothing words to me, as I was lying down on the guest bed in his tatty little house. The soft covers were better than the nasty motels Zayn and I have been staying in for the past month, but the warmth wasn't there. The warmth is usually from Zayn. Only Zayn can be that sunshine in my life. When I'm in his arms, I feel so much safer then I am before.

"I can't. I can't sleep without him..." I mumble sheepishly, ashamed of my words because I have just previously pushed Zayn away from me. This is why we can't ever be a couple. It's because of stupid little situations that just spiral out of control and turn into a massive one. It's not needed at all.

"I know, love. I know you can't. But he's gone out for a little while. He'll be back after he's let of some steam. You know he's no good when he's angry. I'm sure you've already learned the hard ways." Nathan gave me a small smile, still perched at the edge of the bed. It reminded me of when my mother used to try and put me to sleep when I was a kid, worrying about my father.

I used to get nightmares all the time of him beating me and saying horrible things to me. I kept forgetting that they were actually not nightmares - but reality.

"He was so angry and it was my entire fault. This is my entire fault! I shouldn't have said those things to him. I'm just really confused of what to think right now, Nath. I don't know if I'm upset, or if I'm angry about the whole situation. Zayn's a father now. He doesn't hate kids but he's always said how he'd be afraid of doing the whole parenting thing wrong. He said he'd run away like a coward. I just he hasn't done that."

What if he had? I now realised I'm sobbing with my face in the palm of my hands. He wouldn't go without me. I have made him feel so angry and all, but he can't have left me. No. No way.

"Hey, hey. Sush. Don't cry, princess-" I was now crying more hysterically with fear and hurt as Nathan let the pet name slip out before he could figure out the meeting behind it, "-Oh shoot! I'm such an idiot, I'm sorry! I completely forgot about him!" there was a great deal of pain in his unusual greenly-grey eyes, why though? Was he having a guilty memory?

"I. I wish I could forget too. I honestly cannot believe he's dead. It just doesn't seem right. He can't have died. He was so-so, haunting. I'm sure something's going to come back and haunt us." I shake my head with a shudder at the thought of that late blonde Irish lad.

It's weird not seeing the other lads and having to plan about how to confront him. We're not safe though. We all had to split up in order to stay safe. A large group of ten people is an easier target then separate couples.

Nathan went alone to study. It's good for him to try and have a normal life after all that's happened. I don't know about any of the others, because Zayn wouldn't tell me anything. I hope he's not trying to forget his friends... his only friends.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. Hopefully Zayn will be back in the morning. He can't have gone too far." Nathan speaks in a positive tone, before leaving the room with a smile and a hug good night.

But I know Zayn better then the boys, and something tells me he's gone.

That means in distance wise, or as in mentality-basically meaning he's drunk.

[Zayn]

"Hit me with another one, bro." I slam down a £5 note on the bar table and the bar tender nods, before quickly works his arse off to make my awesome drink. My mind is whirring and I can't really focus on much. That's a good thing, though. I came here to take the pain away from my aching heart.

Seeing Sophia cower away from me with fear, made me feel so angry and it really broke me because I don't want her to ever be afraid of me. She can't be because I need her near me, not far away. She was crying because of me. Tears were wasted because of me.

Life sucks so bad.

It's a wonder why I'm still living. If I scare her so much, I shouldn't even bother to live life. Why would I want to live in a world without her by my side? My life was utter crap without her in the past, and I don't want to be away from her again.

The thing is though, that dyed rat lookalike decided to show up at the wrong time. Something in my head was warning me as soon as I started to talk to Nathan on the phone, arranging to meet him. I needed to find a proper place to stay, because Sophia was getting quite sleep deprived and that wasn't healthy. She kept telling me she was fine, but she was far from fine. She is just too stubborn to admit it. I can see whenever she's in pain - just like today.

Coming back to London wasn't the wisest decision of my life, because it just brings back painful memories of drunken nights. One night stands - Flings - Fights. It's a bad place.

"Hello, sexy."

I turn my head to face yet another blonde haired bimbo looking chic. It's like blondes seemed to be so attracted to me for no apparent reason. She's wearing nothing but tight leather clothes, and I'm wondering how she manages to breathe in them. I must be so intoxicated because I found out I've been staring at her cleavage for way too long.

"I'm Louisa. I didn't catch your name?" her light blue eyes aren't as bloodshot as mines probably are, meaning I'm much more drunk then she is. I'm more venerable if anything.

"That's because I didn't throw it at you." I rolled my eyes at the desperate hoe.

"Funny guy. I like your cologne, what brand is it?" she's trying to have conversation with me, can't she bloody see I'm not interested?!

"It was supposed to be flea repellent, doesn't seem to be working." I bluntly replied back, my drink is set in front of me and I swing it all down, wiping my lips with the back of my hand once I had finished.

"So you're playing hard to get, I see. Sexy and dangerous. I like it." She winked at me shamelessly and I prayed that I would sober up quickly so I can have the strength to run away from this sex crazed animal.

"I'm really not interested." I stand up a little too quickly, stumbling and she ends up catching me.

Here's the worst bit - somehow my hand end up being supported on his breast, and I have no strength to move it.

Drinking is not going to help anything, remember that kids. When you think it'll clear your pain...

It'll only cause more.

{{yeah so basically guys, I wanted to update because I've written so much for this fanfic. Please don't forget to comment and vote, please, please, please. Thankyouu:)-Tanisha.xox}}