The Demons Inside. [ZM AU]

Ch: 21 || Coward.

[Nathan]

I was currently lying on my bed waiting for Sophia to text me back, and occupying myself with pictures in my camera roll. I was on the massive section full of selfies of Nikki and I. There were funny and cute pictures as well as random ones, for example one when she was sleeping in my arms. Looking back now, if I had known that we would've never had a future together, I would've run away with her then and there without any regrets. I wouldn't be alone in a crowded city with no-one to love but myself.

When Sophia and Zayn leave again, I will once again have no-one. No friends at all. My friends are all spread out in the country, Siva and Jay travelling to different cities. Zayn and Sophia-traveling also to different cities. Max and Tom-somewhere. Somewhere unknown. Wow, it's just hit me now that I have no idea where the pair of my friends are... that's bad-I'M A BAD FRIEND!

My phone started to vibrate in my hands which was announcing a new call and I sigh before pressing the green 'answer call' button, from an unknown number. No, I didn't think twice because I'm so much more confident nowadays. It's a good thing, I guess. I don't let people walk all over me anymore.

"Ello?" I answered with a sigh because I want to continue to stare at Nikki's beautiful face.

But I can now hear her magical voice, causing my heart to flutter, "Nathan. Hi." she sounded breathless like she was lost for words. I get tat when I look at her-her stunning beauty takes my breath away.

"Hi Nikki... how are you?" I hope this isn't a dream-if it is, please don't ever wake me up. I've missed her so much. So much it hurts!

"Hi. Um, okay-good yeah. And yourself?" why was she finding this awkward-why was she so nervous-where was she right now? So many questions, so little time for answers.

"I'm fine thanks..." c'mon Nathan, speak! Tell her how you feel or something! Keep the conversation going, damn it boy!

"Good... good." her voice trailed off as she was distracted with something on the other side of the line. I couldn't take it anymore-I had to ask the question that was haunting my mind.

"Are you dating Harry?"

I hear a slight gasp from her as her reaction my sudden and random question but it just had to be asked, didn't it? "Uh, Nathan..."

"-don't. Just tell me the truth." I pinch the bridge of my nose to calm myself, because I really don't like how everyone is trying to 'think about my feelings' as if I'm some child that is prone to disappointment. I'd rather they tell me the truth, then get lied to all the time.

"Y-yes. Yes I think we are."

I sighed deeply, not really knowing how I was feeling right now because it was a variety of emotions. Regret, hurt, sadness, anger, remorse, stupidity-all because I should've made her mine the second I knew what I was feeling towards her. I should've rebelled against the 'plan' and never had pushed her away. If anything I should've pulled her closer.

"Does he make you happy?" I just needed to know these answers. It was my only chance of getting over her."

"Nathan... I-yes. Yes he does."

"More then I did?" I knew things were tense between us, and she was the one that called first-meaning she must want to talk about something, but I just needed to get some facts straight first.

"I. Nathan. Please... please don't. I. I don't know. I really don't-"

"-how can you not know? It's a simple yes or no answer! Does he-or does he not?!" I sounded rather demanding but it was only because I was stressed and impatient. I just needed these answers.