The Demons Inside. [ZM AU]

Ch: 36 || Decisions.

[Zayn] 

"We are NOT going there. You and I both hate hospitals. It wouldn't be right for us to go there!!" I was trying to put up a fight against Sophia who seemed to be making it very clear that she wanted to go to the stupid hospital. I don't understand why she won't listen to me though? I'm her boyfriend - doesn't that make me have some authority over her? I just want what's best for her; going to a hospital will only trigger memories of her past, and it wouldn't be right for her or me to be in the same room as Caitlin. 

It's time. That physco-path is going to bring MY child into the world. I didn't think this time would come so quickly. I thought I had a long while to go; but time goes faster then we would hope it wouldn't. 

"I don't care! Zayn we- YOU need to be there for her. I honestly couldn't care less about your hatred for Caitlin, you still need to be in that room when your own daughter is going to join us in this messed up world." I want to argue even more, but what's the point? She's going to win anyway. I need to face reality and stop trying to push all my problems underneath a rock. I need to face them all one day, I can't keep hiding forever. So I let my guard down, letting her feel triumphant. Just like I always seem to do nowadays.

"Okay. Let's go." 

***

We all had to take a ride on the bus, Jay Siva Sophia and I, because Nathan had taken his small car to an unknown destination. We hadn't heard from him since... yesterday? Before he went out and only came back to his home to get changed. Judging by his clothes, he looked like he was going out somewhere special. He didn't even acknowledge us all. Rude. Sophia decided to leave a note for him just in case he starts to panic when he sees his house empty for the first time in two months. It must be awful living alone. Such a boring life. 

"I hate being in public." Jay grumbled, staring out the window as he was shifting uncomfortably in his seat. It was most probably because we were all in disguises right now. For all we know, we could all be on 'Wanted' posters in every police station in the united kingdom; we can't risk anything. Especially if we're going to a public hospital from traveling on a public bus. Jay and I were wearing sleeveless tops that showed off our arm tattoos and arm muscles; in Jay's case just his stick looking arms. He states that he practically felt naked because everyone seemed fascinated in our tattoos. So we like to express ourselves in our body art- is that such a crime? 

"After all this has blown over - I want a tattoo." Sophia announces randomly, moving closer to me so there was absolutely no gaps between us whatsoever. Her hand was on top of mines which was on her knee. I liked this close connection we had; always forgetting about our fights with one touch. It was like magic.

"Really? What tattoo do you want?" I curiously asked her. I didn't ever except- or could imagine my once smiling bubbly girlfriend getting a tattoo. If she told me this a year ago, I would've laughed in her face. Now that she has said it, I'm curious because it really does show how much she has changed. She's changed a lot; we all have.

"I was thinking an infinite symbol on my wrist with the word 'smile' because they're like my symbols. Or maybe just like Beatrice Prior in Divergent, get three birds to symbolize the three people I have left or will leave behind."  she tells me not making eye-contact with me, just staring aimlessly out the window, watching the world go by. I felt peaceful like this, just her next to me as we forgot about the world and the crap it's loaded on us. Trust me, it was a lot of bird poo.

"Which three people?" Siva asks her, as if he has suddenly found and interest in our conversation. He had always been against the idea of tattoos, because he believed when we're older all wrinkly- we'd regret having the stuff on our skin permanently because of how bad it would look. I know I wouldn't regret them because they are a part of me, each tattoo symbolizes something special to me. Especially the black heart, angel wings, lips and the cartoon girl - all based on Sophia. She is now permanent on my skin, like how she has a permanent place in my heart. Forever and Always.