The Demons Inside. [ZM AU]

Ch: 41 || Sinner.

"James Mcguiness" 

[Caitlin] 

Waking up panting, I looked around to see a room with women and men staring anxiously at me. Becky pushed through the crowd angrily, when reaching me even she wore a concerned expression. Strange. 

"What the bloody hell happened? Why were you screaming so much?!" Becky questioned me, touching my face to see if I was injured or anything. I don't understand her sometimes. 

"I'm fine... Just had a dream, like it was more like a vision. I think I know who the father of Ashleigh is now." Becky waits for me to continue with an impatient look on her face. 

"Jay Mcguiness." She gives me a confused look, and I understand why she would. I have never talked to her about it. Why would I when it was just a pointless drunk one night stand? It's only now I actually realized he could be the father. Why would I have a dream like that if it wasn't the truth? "He is one of Zayn's friends. It was a drunk one night stand that I had seem to have forgotten about until right now." 

"What are you going to do? Will you contact him or..." I actually haven't considered doing anything. Why would I when Jay must probably hate me as much as Zayn? He would've forgotten about that one life. Of course I need to be sure though, I need to make sure everything is correct, no facts are made up. The only way to prove that is by the DNA test... But I need all the guys who are possibilities to take the test. I only have two. Who knows how many choices there could be? 

Told you I was a sinner. 

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[Patricia] 

"Nikki you need to go out the house and stop mopping around over Harry. It's been such a long time now. Of course that break in London did you some good but being all cooped up feeling sorry for yourself in here isn't helping anyone. You being like this isn't only upsetting for you, it's upsetting for me. For all we know, you can be my future daughter in law! You can't keep waiting for Harry to come back from God knows where, you need to start making use of your life. Go find a job or something. You have qualifications don't you?" I desperately look at the poor girl who's jet black hair was wrapped in a typical lazy bun on the top of her head, wearing Harry's Nirvana top and some baggy three quarter leggings. She was also wearing no make up because I'd advised her not too seeing the amount she had been crying was basically wasting all that expensive crayon things. Disgusting stuff. 

I haven't wore makeup since my wedding which was twenty two years ago. Gosh. I had been married for about fourteen years. I had almost forgotten about Yaser, until this moment. Now I can't get his face out of my thoughts. He is haunting me. He used to always haunt me for years after he passed away. It was only until I met Lucy that I had stopped letting him in, effecting my daily routine. Zayn thought I was developing a mental disorder, and needed therapy. I knew I would be fine in the end, just how far the end was was the hard thing to grasp. 

"What? I, I'm not mourning for Harry or whatever... It's, it's Nathan. He's-he's moved on." oh. Well then, I did not know that. But of course I try so hard to not make my comment snappy and cold like my Zayn would. It was hard mainly because Nathan was ever so close to my first son, but my second son... was basically the third wheeler in this scenario. I don't like that at all. No mother would. 

"What do you expect though? You've moved on. Why can't he? He can't just wait for you forever, I'm sure he's sick of being second best all the time-"