Memories of Color • Adopted by Josh Dun

_.|9|._

a/n: don't hurt yourself, you're all beautiful and it's going to be okay. you're all enough and are worth the world. i hope you know that ❤️ - the author, two years later

alona's pov:

"thank god." he said. hugging me.

"what do you mean?" i asked.

"you're synesthestic." he said, "you talk with your senses."

"oh. ok." i stumbled. he looked at me dead in the eyes.

"tell me everything." he said, "in the easiest way for you to explain it in."

so i did.

every word was black and blue. every description was heavily detailed. he listened to every word. he was crying by the halfway point. i decided not to tell him about the rapes.

he isn't ready.

i hugged him once i got to today. he latched on. i've never seen a man cry before. but i think josh does it better than anyone else. i hope he knows i'm not talking after that.

"alona. i'm so sorry. this is my fault." he said. i shook. my head frantically.

"you're not talking again?" he asked. i nodded. he kissed my head again.

"it's ok. i love you. i love you buttercup." he said. i hugged him instantly. i whispered into his neck one final sentence.

"i love you too josh." is what i said. he chocked up, and grabbed my arm.

"let me see your wrists." he said. i stood frozen. it got cold. not ice, more like wax.

i rolled up my sleeves. revealing three little lines that are scars. the rest of the scars were frantic. but they weren't from me. it was from smackings and beatings. the three scars were in perfect synchronization.

"alona. those three better be it." he said. i nodded. he sighed.

"how long ago was it?" he asked. i rolled back up my left sleeve and held up the number two.

"two... months," he asked. i shook my head. "years?" he asked.

i nodded. he sighed in relief again.

"please. never do this again okay." he said. i nodded. he hugged me again. he sure likes hugs. the huggy guy.

"you're safe now."

-•-

we were all gathered around a laptop in tyler and jenna's new house. the crew and the four of us. tyler and josh were on twitter ready to tweet. the crew was also ready to post and tweet on instagram and everything. i was leaning up against josh. it was 11:55 pm. 5 minutes.

"i just realized. alona has never listened to any of our songs." tyler blurred out. josh looked down at me.

"is that true?" he asked. i nodded with his one arm around my shoulder.

"alright. i got a song for you." tyler said, grabbing the laptop and going to itunes. he put on a songs and emo, techno banging started to play. it was black, grey, blue, and green.

"it's called ode to sleep." he said. i nodded.

the song was bipolar. switching from black and blue to green and white and gray was splattered everywhere all over. the middle rap part was my favorite part. the piano kept going and going. it was a beautiful. it was all the colors i said combined. there was wind and trees blowing around too. but so peaceful it was as if it was protecting me.

the song was protecting me.

but before i knew it, the song was over and the album dropped.

everyone's phone was buzzing. spam. it was all spam. but after a good five minutes, it was dead silent. i looked up at josh.

"everyone started to listen to it. they won't be back for a hour." he said. i nodded. their fans are really dedicated.

"drop the tour tweet mark" tyler said, holding jenna with one arm.

after mark hit the button,m time stopped for a moment. then there was no buzz.

why no buzz?

"yep. we're free for one hour in this house." josh said. i silently chuckled.

"well guys, a toast. to a new album, and a new baby!" tyler said.