Lately I've been hurting
And no one sees
Nor cares
But I don't blame them
I'm just a dumb teen
I have my grades to prove it
They suck
But what can I do
Other than accept it
Like the pain I endure
On a daily basis
I try to stay strong
Especially for her
My school mom
School's my third family
She's the only one who doesn't
Make me talk
Or listen
She lets me be free
Like my mom
But at school
Though I can be rude
She's still there
She doesn't take me for granted
And I hope she reads this
I hope she smiles today
After all the smiles I've faked today
To prove a point
I'm a good actress
One of us
Deserves to be genuinely happy
If anyone
It should be her
And I hope this does
Just that
Because all she wants
Is for me
My friends
Her co-workers
Her family
Everyone to be happy
Even if she isn't
I can tell
Each time I look in her eyes
I see a story
I do that with everyone
Look into their eyes
And see a story
But when it's my own
All I see is an abis
Like my story
Was never there
I can't read the story
With anyone
But with me
There is no story
So I just want her
Happy
Genuinely happy
Actually happy
I know better than anyone
We as people
Are next to perfect at covering the person
And wearing the mask
I know pain
But I also know healing
I haven't felt it in a while
But I know it's presence
I get off my happy pills soon
I hope that I'm better
Then maybe I can smile again
Though I am scared
I already hit bumps
The meds help
Very little
I hope I can power through
Everyone says that I am strong
But people also say I am no use
So I don't know what to believe
Some people even tell me
Lately I feel anxious
