Lately I've been hurting
I want to hold him again
Pet his silky fur
Feel his heartbeat against my hand
Have him lick the tears away
Allow him to jump onto my chest
Wrap his paws on my shoulders
My knees aching from kneeling down
Have his fur cover my clothes again
His muddy preprints on clean bed sheets
I wish I could be floating around on clouds
His bark be loud
His kisses be more meaningful
His hugs be bigger
I just want him
Back
With me
Or me
With him
Somewhere that I can hold him once more
I want to feel his presence again
I don't want to feel guilty
But I made the choice
I wish the words stopped repeating over and over in my head
You're a monster
Stop making others sad
You destroy others
You don't see what you've done
No one cares
It repeats itself
Each time it does
It stings
Lately I want him once more
