Black Eyes

Chapter 22: Grounded

Sunlight gently tapped my eyes waking me from my sleep. I shifted under the sheets and spread my body out to encase the whole mattress while stretching loudly. My head rounded on the empty space beside me. Instead of the Joker's form there was a handwritten note. I rolled my eyes dramatically and picked it up to read:

Doll,
I need you to do something for me. Tonight I'm gonna conduct a bit of an experiment on Gotham. Things will get messy. Stop by the pier at noon.

I looked at the alarm clock by the bed which read 10:00am. Wow, I had slept a long time. I went to pull the covers off when it hit me that I was naked. That's right. I had sex with the Joker last night.

A feeling of accomplishment gushed over me making my cheeks turn a bright crimson red. I found the bathroom and before getting into the shower I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I stared for such a long time, unsure of who it was looking back at me. I wasn't so much fazed by the cuts and bruises littering my face as I was at the sight of my eyes. They had a different look in them now. They looked menacing and mature. My child-like stare I used to throw towards my reflection was gone.

Almost in a terror I ripped my gaze away and pulled the shower curtain back to reveal a rather luxurious looking shower. I cranked the hot water on and let it burn through my skin to warm my insides. I had a feeling today was going to be different from the others.

OxoXoxO

I inhaled sharply as I stepped out of the vehicle. Ah yes, the smell of the ocean. Sometimes it smelled pleasant; of salt. Other times though, like today, it smelled of dead fish and seaweed.

There were two huge fairies docked at the furthest end, only a football field length away. I knew that was where I had to be as I watched men dressed in black carrying mysterious crates into both ships.

"Boo!" I screamed in a panic as two hands gripped my shoulders behind me. I turned to see the Joker standing there, already in tears while laughing like a maniac.

"Oh haha yes, you got me." I rolled my eyes feeling unamused. The oldest trick in the book and I fell for it.

"Learn to laugh at yourself, sweet cheeks!" As he gripped his side from laughing so hard he handed me what looked like a pill.

"What's this?"

"What do you think? Can't have you popping out a kid 9 months down the road. I'm not planning on retiring any time soon."

"Oh." I felt oddly embarrassed as I swallowed the pill without a second thought.

"You seem a little tense. I've got something that'll cheer you up." He grabbed my wrist and roughly guided me down the dock. "My men are planting explosives in these boats."

"Well that was blunt. Nothing like the riddles you usually throw at me to try and figure out what you're up to." I smirked as we approached the bustle at the end of the pier.

"Hey now, don't compare me with the Riddler- that guy's an oddball."

"And you're not?" I laughed aloud.

"He's just a different type of odd." When he saw it was a vein argument he continued on explaining his plan. "Would you like a tour?"

"Absolutely." I playfully grinned as he bowed in front of me, gesturing to the opening leading into the belly of the ship. "Ladies first."

I strolled inside, excited butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. The Joker's idea of fun never had this much of a positive effect on me. Usually I was jittery and nervous. Today I felt like someone else, though. I felt confident, like no one could touch me. I was on a high horse and no one could knock me off.

Deep down I knew I was just as mortal as anyone else, but I wanted to pretend as long as possible that I had something no one else had. I paused realising that I in fact did. I had the Joker. I had him wrapped around my finger or rather, he had me wrapped around his... maybe it was both.

Either way, I could tell he had a liking for me and that made me valuable. Not only that, but it made me feel so damn good. "Hey!" I jumped when I realised the Joker had been talking to me.

"Oh shit, sorry. What was that, boss?" I wasn't really sure why I called him that, but it had a sexier ring to it when I said it.

"Always got your head in the clouds." He huffed, waving his fingers around my face. I unexpectedly tried to bite one of them which led him to growl at me.

"Not now, doll, you'll get me excited." He swiftly ran his fingers down to my thigh and quickly pulled away when footsteps echoed down the hall.

"Everything's set, boss." A goon called out, exiting the room as quickly as he came. I looked out at what the Joker wanted to show me. As far as the eye could see there were explosives rigged to blow.

"Tryin' to murder some fishermen here or what?" I joked, leaning on the railing. "Let me guess, it'll be more then just fisherman."

"That part is a surprise. I want you there no matter what, even if you don't know what I'm planning. Tonight, you will prove yourself to me and show me just how faithful you really are." He paused his words while closing in the light between us, grasping my cheek in his palm. I inhaled sharply and nuzzled my face into his grasp, soaking in his flesh against mine. I looked him dead in the eye and spoke.

"I will do anything for you. I will even suffer for you." The truth of my words hit me hard. I never thought I'd even think on these words but when I said them I knew they rang as truth. The Joker had shown me something I never felt before: the exhilarating, adrenaline pumping feeling of chaos and the freedom that came with it. It felt so fucking good. He was right all along and I'll admit it here and now.

There was one thing I wouldn't let him take from me though and that was my sanity. I was dangling by a thread but I would make sure until the day I died I would hold on for dear life. I wasn't going to live in some fantasy that what he and I did and will do together would be good. In fact, everything will be down right wrong, but that's what made it feel so right.

It will be oh, so tempting to just let it all go, I knew that. Maybe I was already insane. Don't crazy people usually think they aren't crazy? I shook the thought from my head quickly.

The Joker smiled victoriously at me and breathed heavily. "Ah, see now there she is." He cooed seductively as he continued to stroke my cheek. "It feels good to finally see, doesn't it?"

I leaned into his ear and whispered, "Oh yes it does."

+++

It was dark now, but peering over the edge of this abandoned building by the bay I saw lights glistening among Gotham City. There was enough light to be able to see a football fields length of ocean, the waves violently crashing into whatever it could consume and slip away from. Again and again they crashed and fell, crashed and fell, trying to consume something that would always rise above it no matter how hard it tried. I convinced myself I would fight to death to be like the rocks. Firm and grounded, not running from discomfort or danger. I would face it head on and overcome. Every time.

The Joker dropped a box at my feet. "Happy birthday."

"What's this?" I didn't move to touch it, still engulfed in my deep thoughts.

"A present."

I smirked in amusement. "It's not my birthday."

"It is now. Open it." Without asking any more questions I tore the box open and unraveled the tissue paper inside. I scooped the object up and turned it over, revealing a mask smiling up at me. This rubber mask was not like the others, however. It was only meant to cover my nose and mouth. It seemed to have some sort of screen built on the inside too.

"What is this?"

"It's something I want you to always keep with you when you are with me. It's a gas mask. I've come up with my own signature gas bombs that'll blow the socks off of Batsy and all his law loving pals."

I looked down at the mask and realised that there was something else I missed in the box: makeup and a single rolled up blunt. "Put your face on, hotness. It's almost showtime."