I Don't Care if You're Sick

November & Fading

Kellin's POV

After cleaning up and dressing we sat and talked about the last time I was here and he asked if I knew what was wrong, "Mostly, I had some sort of heart attack and my kidneys are like 'fuck you' so that sucks." He laughed but I saw sadness in his eyes, he was worried.

"Hey, it's alright, I'm not gonna leave you just yet okay?" I joked shoving him lightly and he broke into an actual smile that showed in his eyes.

"Be strong and hold my hand, time, it comes for us you'll understand." I smiled and took his hand, kissing it lovingly, "We'll make it." I said with a small smile. But I didn't know, I didn't know if I'd make it and that scared me, I was scared of what he'd do to himself if I didn't.

"Promise me something." I said suddenly, he looked up at me with his sad, chocolate eyes, "What?"
"If I... if I die, promise me you won't end your life or cut." He looked slightly shocked but didn't answer, I could tell he was thinking, trying to find a way out, a loop hole.

"Why? Life's not worth living if you're gone." I smiled a little, he loved me but I loved him too and couldn't let him take his life away from other people in his life.

"Your life, it's not yours to take."
"But its mine."
"You're hurting other people when you kill yourself so please don't." I pleaded, "I only care about you."

I was touched but I knew that couldn't be completely true, "What about your brother? Don't you care about him and your aunts wrath?"  He looked away, I knew he did but he didn't want to think about that.

"Yes, but I love you more." I shook my head, "Nothing should come between you and your family if you love them." I told him, I knew that I was being a hypocrite but I didn't care because I couldn't let him die when he was so young.

"You're the one to speak, you're younger then me!" Had I said that last bit out loud? "Well it's true, we are young and we don't care, your dreams and your hopeless hair, we never wanted it to end this way." I touched his soft curls and tucked one behind his ear, "I don't want it to end this way." I whispered.

He leaned over and kissed me, as he broke it voices came from the doorway and Jaime and Candace walked in, "Okay, visit time is up. Kellin needs to have some check ins and stuff; don't protest it just makes things difficult." Candace took Vic away from me, our eyes lingered as he was pulled out of the room, then he was gone.

Jaime started doing all sorts of things like taking my blood pressure and my blood. He did vitals and everything and I went through the dull routine almost automatically.

"So, how's Vic?" I hated when he tried to make small talk, he wasn't a particular annoying person but I didn't want to think anyone here was my friend and leave them behind, "Fine." I snapped. He shrugged and looked over his notes, I watched his face carefully, trying to guess what was going on in the sick body of mine.

A wave of shock pooled into Jamie's face, "What's wrong?" I asked in confusion and slight fear. "Oh uh, nothing really." He laughed nervously, "Jaime tell me, I've got a right to know!" I said aggressively, "Your heart is not looking good at all and your most likely going to die... soon." He said bluntly.

Well shit.

Vic called me that November night, his voice raspy from crying and I could almost see his tear stained face and his brown eyes red and puffy. "Aw love, don't cry anymore." I said, wishing I could brush away and tears that still lingered on his tan face.

"But you're dy-dying." He choked out, I knew how he felt, he was trying to be okay and put on a brace face and talk but the tears were building up at the back of his throat making it hard to breathe or think as it slowly suffocated you.