That's right, the last chapter. So sad. Not that anyone reads this it's just fun
Vic's POV
During dinner Kellin and I didn't speak, he ate reluctantly but he did eat. Afterwards he looked at me expectantly, I had some explaining to do I guess, there were a few things he probably wanted to know.
"Okay, so, when I was sixteen, I got in a bad group. They drank and smoked but rarely asked me if I wanted to do the same, one day, I was particularly pissed and down, they offered to take me to a party where I could drink and no one would turn their heads even though I was a minor; I agreed. Fast forward, I was wasted and even a little bit high, one of the guys, Oli, I guess the leader of the whole gang I guess, took me upstairs. He's a super persuasive guy, and told me that the sick feeling I had would go away if I distracted myself, I asked how I could and he kissed me, shoving me forcefully onto the bed, and I got into it, but then he went too far. I wanted out but he said it was to late and well, he raped me."
Kellin had anger in his eyes but also sympathy, he leaned forward and hugged me, "I love you." He whispered, "I love you too." I choked out, tears closing off my throat so it was tight and hurt to breathe.
I calmed myself down, breathing and focusing on something that wasn't so devastatingly sad, I was leaving inpatient, that was good news. I looked back at Kellin, he had tears in his eyes but none had fallen, he sniffed and looked down at our clasped hands and smiled, a tear fell and he wiped it away with the back of his hand.
"I love you Vic, I... I don't want to die." He looked up at me sadly and my heart melted, I didn't want him to die either. I wanted to live my whole life with him and never leave him alone in the world.
Kellin looked up to me, "I should get some sleep and so should you, thank you for making me eat and telling me about the past." He smiled and kissed my cheek, I looked to our wrists, both covered in scars, ones that would be with us till the day we died, which might be soon for Kellin and I if I killed myself.
I left, telling Jaime and finding Candace, "Let's go back." I said, looking away so she couldn't see the tears, "Oh Vic, it's okay to show emotion and cry, you don't have to be afraid." She put an arm around my shoulder in a comforting way.
We walked to the car and she drove the short drive to our hospital, I couldn't desire which hospital I liked better, the one with or without Kellin Quinn.
"How's Kellin? Is he okay, did he wake up?" Jack, Josh, Brendon and Frank asked as I entered the lounge in exhaustion, Gerard and Tyler hung back but still looked curious. "He woke up," there was a cheer from the four boys, "but he's dying." The quieted down, and looked sadly down at their feet, "I'm sorry," spoke up Gerard, I looked at him in shock, he'd never spoken to anyone, not even Frank from my knowledge.
"Thank you, Gerard, that means a lot." He gave me the quickest and gentlest smile before going back to his usual depressed, unhappy self. Frank looked back at him proudly, maybe they did speak in private, they did share a room after all.
"I'm sorry dude," Jack said bracingly, "You'll pull through, we're all in this behind you." He smiled his goofy smile though his eyes were saddened by either the fact Alex was gone or he genuinely liked and would miss Kellin, maybe both.
"I'm sorry dude, that really sucks, I'm not that good with words but Kellin was the first person I talked too when I got here the first time, he made me feel loved, I'll miss him." Frank smiled and hugged me before leaving.
"No touching!" Reminded a nurse but we already had and they couldn't take that back. "Can I go to my room?" Kelly's face seemed pained and agreed, she liked Kellin too, everyone did, even Gerard did, apparently.
I sat on Kellin's bed like I did countless times when he was in St. Alphonse, I was alone with my thoughts which could be dangerous at times. I found myself with the urge I'd been feeling more lately, the urge was the first thing I thought of when something remotely bad happened, cutting.
I hadn't cut in a long time but the urge never went away, it always there especially this past week and tonight was no exception. I tried to remind myself I could leave here, go back and then cut but I didn't want to wait any longer.
"Hey," Ashley stepping into my room, he smiled and sat on my bed across from me, "I heard what happened, I'm so sorry." I shrugged it off though it was killing me. "I liked Kellin, he was a good kid who had bad things happen to him." I knew that, he didn't choose to have these mental disorders or anything, he just wanted to be him.
"Thanks, I've had enough people for today, can I just go to bed?" Ashely shook his head, "We still have pm community, and you've got a visitor afterwards." I groaned, I just wanted to sleep the days away, "Okay." Ashley stood up, "I'll come get you if you'd like, or you can come now." I didn't know what to do so I just went to the lounge.
I took out my notebook and glanced through the songs, I was going to write a song for Kellin, I looked down at the blank page I started writing the words coming to my tired brain.
I looked at my finished work and wrote at the top, 'A Match into Water', I hoped he'd like it, I wish I could give him more, I wish I could steal stars for him, a hundred million twinkling lights in neon blue.
"Vic." I snapped into reality, "Huh? Oh yes." Group had started and it was my turn I guess, "A one, Kellin's gonna die soon." I numbly spoke, I didn't want to hover on the subject anymore then I had too, "I'm sorry," Ray smiled sadly at me, "You must really like him." I felt tears form, "Yeah I.. I actually love him."
A few days passed and nothing really exciting happened besides me not sleeping at all. I saw Kellin once but it'd been three days since, he wasn't getting better even though I prayed to god he would. I was tired and just wanted to go to bed, but I was waiting for Mike to call me.
Tyler walked up and handed me a sheet of paper, "A song for you two." He whispered and left the room. Candace rushed in, "He's only got hours left, we need to go if you want to see him." Suddenly, I wasn't at all tired.
--
The car ride was along enough for me to remember Tyler's paper and read it, it was a song called 'Friend, Please' it made me almost cry.
We rushed to the hospital and got to room 424, Kellin had two nurses next to him and he was more pale than usual. He didn't really look that different from this morning, just tired.
"Kells," I walked over and took his hand in mine,his hands were cold but I didn't mind, I'd want them up. Candace signaled the two nurses and the three of them left, leaving us alone.
"Kells, how did this happen?" Kellin shrugged, he didn't seem that concerned, "Are you on drugs?" He shook his head, "No, though I asked." He smiled cheekily and kissed me, "I have something for you." I handed him 'A Match into Water' "You wrote s song just for me?" I nodded, "Yeah, I love you." I grinned, "I love you too."
He read it and smiled, "Thank you, this is amazing, I hope your band can play it sometime." I didn't want to start a band if he wasn't alive, how would I continue writing songs without him? They'd all be sad.
"You should get a nurse." Kellin said suddenly, I came back to reality and hit the ground running, where were nurses when you needed them?
I roamed around to till I found one, it was actually really easy, "Kellin! Room 424, hurry!" Thank god i'd found Jaime. We ran to the room where Kellin was breathing heavily and holding s hand over his heart. "I think I'm dying." He said, fear laced his voice and eyes as his heart minister when's crazy, he was scared to die wasn't he?
I ran to the bed and held his hand and Kellin handed me his notebook, "The last one's for you. I love you."
And that was the last thing Kellin ever said to anyone, alive at least, the song he'd written for me was called 'Don't You Forget About Me'.
I never did forget about my forbidden love, Kellin Quinn.

YOU ARE READING
I Don't Care if You're Sick
FanfictionVic and Kellin are in a mental hospital after they both tried to end their lives. They get roomed together and a friendship begins to bloom between the two boys, but can it become more?