Old Flame Turned New Flame

I Still Love Him

Going back home after our nice weekend was like hell. EB didn't want to stay with Ashley and Brantley was in Nashville. My baby boy missed his daddy and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Brantley facetimed every night before bed and would talk to EB for about an hour before saying their good nights. Tonight was just like any night so when my phone rang I just answered without looking, "Hey B."

"B?" The voice on the phone shocked the hell out of me and I had to look at my phone to make sure I wasn't going crazy.

"Kris? What the hell do you want?" I asked.

"To see Elijah. I miss him."

I sighed, "I'll ask him. He knows about Brantley being his dad now and I just don't know what he'll want to do."

"My parents want to see him too. They miss him a lot." I heard Kris sigh.

"I have to ask Brantley too." I bit my lip waiting for him to blow up.

"Okay. Just call me back and let me know." Kris said and hung up before I could say anything.

I leaned against the wall and put my head in my hands, I hadn't told Brantley that I would still let Kris and Kris's parents see EB. I didn't want to fight with him and I didn't want to make EB miss his nightly talks with his daddy. This time when my phone rang I looked to make sure it was Brantley before just assuming.

"Hey B." I said trying to sound positive.

"Hey Kat. Where's little man?" Brantley asked.

"He's with mama Becky doing the dishes." I said heading downstairs.

"Does he got time to talk to his daddy?" Brantley asked on a chuckle.

I let out a breathy laugh, "Let me ask him." I asked EB and he jumped down off the chair, took my phone, and ran off with it.

"He loves his daddy." Mama Becky said with a bright smile.

I nodded, "Can I ask you something?"

She dried her hands and turned towards me, "Anything. You know that."

I sighed and ran my hand over my face, "So, I told Kris and his parents that they could still see EB if they wanted to. Well, Kris just called and told me that he and his parents would like to see EB. Should I tell them to come here to Georgia or what do I do? How do I tell Brantley about it?" I asked rambling on.

Mama Becky put her hand on my shoulder, "Letting Kris and his parents see EB isn't a bad call they were part of his life and probably always will be until he's old enough to make that decision. As far as them coming here, I think that would be best for EB, he's not used to being away from you over night anymore. But Brantley, that's a different story he probably won't like it but he'll get over it." 

I put my head down on the table and just sat there, "I don't want to fight with him. We're good and everything is going smooth, well except for him being in Nashville."

Becky rubbed my back, "I understand baby but fights are going to happen."

I sighed and sat there letting mama rub my back. I don't know how long we sat there but EB ended up coming back down and bringing me the phone, "Here mama. Daddy talk to you."

"Hey." I said

"Hey, how's everything going?" Brantley asked.

"EB misses you a lot. He doesn't like going to Ashley's anymore." I said telling him basically what I have all week.

Brantley sighed, "I'm sorry, Kat. I'm coming home next weekend and I'll spend all my time with him. I miss him too."

"Brantley, I have to talk to you." I said standing up and walking out on the porch.

"Shoot." Brantley said.

I took a deep breath, "I told Kris and his parents that they could still see EB if they wanted to and Kris called me tonight. He said his parents and him would like to see EB."

"You're going to let him take my kid?" Brantley asked.

"No Brantley, I'm going to tell him that they have to come here to see him. I want to ask you if they can but I know you're going to tell me no but I promised I wouldn't keep EB out of their lives." I said sitting on the bench.

I heard Brantley cuss under his breath, "Fine but I'm coming back. I want to meet this guy and his parents. See the type of people MY son is going to be around."

"He's not just yours Brantley. Kris and his parents helped raised him when you weren't around, they would never do anything to hurt him. They love him just as much as you and I do." I said defending them.

"And whose fault was it that I wasn't there? Oh right, yours because you never fucking told me I have a son!" Brantley yelled. I had to pull the phone away from my ear.

"I didn't tell you because you left me! You picked whoring around over something real! I loved you and I wanted more than anything to raise our son together but I knew it was just a fantasy. You still rode around with liquor bottles in your fucking console. Jesus why can't you just be thankful that I provided for your son and did the best thing I could possibly do at that time? Do you know how many times I dialed your number because I wanted nothing more than for you to come scoop us up? You have no idea what I went through for that little boy. You may think it was all easy and rays of sunshine but it was really fucking hard. I had dreams and plans that I wanted to live out but I put all those things on the back burner for your son. While you were out there making it big in the country music world I was sitting at home taking care of your son. I did the best I could with the hand I was dealt and you know what? I don't regret it one bit because of Kris and his parents EB had everything he ever needed and that's all I care about. I care about MY son never having a want or need that can't be fulfilled." By the time I finished my rant I had silent tears running down both my cheeks. I didn't hear anything on the other side of the phone, I actually had to look to make sure Brantley hadn't hung up, "I said what I had to say, now with that. Kris and his parents will be allowed to see EB. If you want to meet them, fine but you will not be an asshole about it." I hung up the phone before he could another word in. 

I just sat out on the bench, I knew I should go inside and put EB to bed but I couldn't move. I didn't want to move. I cried silent tears thinking about what life would've been like if I had told Brantley about EB. I felt someone sit down beside me but I didn't look to see who it was.

"Brantley called. Said you laid him out and wanted me to check on you." When I heard my big brothers voice, I fell into him and just started crying. He held me and comforted me just like he had in the past over the boy who broke my heart, little did he know that it was his best friend.

"I still love him." I said quietly.

I felt Eli shift a little, "I know you do. Always have."

I looked up at him with tear stained cheeks, "What do you mean?"

Eli rubbed his face, "Brantley got drunk one night and pour his heart out. I know about all of it and just didn't want to say anything until one of you told me in a sober state of mind."

"I'm sorry, Eli. Brantley is your best friend I shouldn't be putting you in the middle of this." I stood up and wiped my tears.

"Katie, you're my baby sister and I love you. I'm always going to pick your side and BG knows that, why do you think I'm here? I told him what a dick move it was to bring up the past like that. Yeah, it's hard thing to understand but truth is, this kind of stuff happens. Hell most parents don't find out till the kid is thirty and has kids of their own. He should be glad you told him when you did so he has time to make memories with his son. Don't beat yourself up over something you can't change. The past should stay exactly that." 

I hugged my brother as tight as I possibly could, he always knew just what I needed to hear even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear.