Love Is Not A Choice [brallon]

20

DALLON

"Oh my god! Is Ryden back again?!" I heard as I looked around the room, looking for where the scream came from. As I scanned and spotted the girl, who seems to be in her 18th year, the crowd stopped for a second probably absorbing what they have heard. Soon enough, screams of other young girls over powered the venue, and together with this was my heart sinking.

They ship Ryden more than they ship Brendon and I? They ship his ex more than his present boyfriend, which none of them knows or heard about. We are a mystery in people's eyes, but Ryan and Brendon isn't. "Ryden is motherfucking real!" I heard another one scream followed by a bunch of squeals. They were real, that's what they and Ryan thought.

He never liked Ryan, he never loved Ryan. They will never be real, they will never be a thing. But what if they are? What if they would be? I stared off blankly at nothing as my thoughts eat my head away, I can hear something faint. It became clearer and clearer as second passes and before I know it, I snapped out of thinking. I saw Tyler snapping his finger in front of me.

"Dude, you okay?" He asked, worry prominent in his voice. I didn't answer his question, he knew why, he knows what's up. "It's okay. It's okay, Dallon. It's just the crowd, listen, Ryden will never be real because Brendon loves you dearly." He stated, giving emphasis to the 'you'. I can barely hear him because of the noise but I somehow made out what he was saying.

I nodded, with a forced smile. Tears slowly welling up in my eyes but I managed to get them away before they were too much to fall. Anxiety is killing me, it's eating me alive. I love Brendon so much that anything that he does, or anything that any other person says about him that is linked with another is making me think things that I know isn't possible.

I wouldn't say I'm jealous, okay, maybe I am but it's just my strong feelings for Brendon. It would come off like that but all I care about is him and I'm scared of losing him. Sure, we might not stay forever, but as long as he is here with me, I'd cherish the moments. I'm selfish and possessive, I know, but that's what happens when you're crazy in love.

I squeezed my hand shut, trying to control myself and my thinking. I'm just overreacting, this is all for fun, nothing is going to happen. We're at a party, things like these happen all the time. We can't avoid that, and I can't be a party pooper either. I filled my head with more thoughts, trying to block and avoid the negative ones that have stumbled across before.

I opened my eyes and put on the most fakest genuine smile that I can pull off right now. Nothing is gonna happen, Dallon. I assure you.

I looked at the direction that Brendon, together with his bandmates, are in right now and B looks like he's in the middle of a sticky situation that he can't get out of. His face displayed an awkward smile, he held up his hands as people try to pull him to the stage with Ryan. Ryan didn't seem to fight off the people that much, but he was 'trying'. I scoffed at the scene and rolled my eyes.

Brendon was on stage with Ryan and B didn't know what to do, he was looking around awkwardly and he stared at me with a cringe scribbled on his face. I looked at him straight with no reaction, and then I looked down. I heard the speakers go off with a little bit of feedback and I shot me head back up to see them holding microphones in their hands. The crowd started screaming 'stage gay'.

I felt something in me that I can't explain. They wanted this back for so long, but they never got it. This is their chance, maybe Brendon should give it to them. This will never ever happen again anyways, I wouldn't let it. Ryan probably has been waiting for this moment too, but sorry honey, he's my boyfriend now.

I expected Brendon to give in to the people's request, which he does all the time in our shows, but he started to speak. "Sorry, guys. I can't really do it. You see," he paused for a little bit. He looked at me as he started to speak again, this time not pulling his eyes away, "I'm in a relationship with a great and amazing person, and I can't really do your requests right now." He finished as he gave the microphone to some tech guy on the side of the stage.