Lessons of Love

Control

What a strange way to meet someone I thought as I hesitantly stretched out my hand, as just looked me straight into my plain brown eyes as he walked away.

"I'll see you both tonight at the party." He said as he took two steps away from us.  In no way did it sound like a question, but rather an order.

"I don't think so" Elizabeth looked to me as I just stayed quiet, waiting for me to also say something.

"Lili."  As he said my name, I couldn't shake off the chills roaming throughout my body as he said my name.  I had to show he had no affect on me.

"I don't think we can, we have to umm...do something at my house after classes."

I thought he would just walk away after I said that, but I was dead wrong.  Instead his forest green irises were full to the brink of black, he didn't seem happy.  He walked back to us-no me and grabbed me by the arm.  He lowered his head down, I felt his curls trickle on my cheek, and an arm snake around my waist possessively as if to keep me in place from running.  Oh how I wish I could run right now.  My heart race picked up, I felt as though it would explode from my ribcage any second now as he lowered his lips to my ear and whispered...

"First rule of lying, don't take too long Lilith." I gulped as he chuckled.  His lips were no longer close to my ear, instead they were only inches away from my face.  His irises were still as black as night, as he looked straight at me. No. Straight through me.

"I'll be sure to see you tonight Lilith." And with that he walked away...he just walked away. 

Before my body could move, and with so many thoughts going on within my head, I was only able to process one thought, and one thought only.  Harry is a-

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" I noticed Elizabeth nearly shouting at me as she interrupted me from my own thoughts of what I was thinking.  Oh Elizabeth, I wish I knew what that was too...I wish...

"I don't know." I simply stated as I started walking off to class, with an angry Elizabeth hot on my trail.

"Lilith, I thought I warned you about him?" I knew she was right, but this was only a minute after she caught me 'staring' at him.

"You did, I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say.  Elizabeth seemed to just brush it off as we were walking back to the main building as the silence began to envelope us once again.  Elizabeth looked as though she was debating to ask me a question that both her and I dreaded.  One of us knew the answer while the other didn't want to hear it, but she asked it either way.

"He knew you were lying" she let out a small breath and continued "didn't he?"

I too let out my shaky breath as I recalled the somewhat frightful encounter. "Yes."

"Is he still expecting to see you at the party?" She asked.

I stared at my feet and debated what I should tell her.  But no thoughts came to mind so looked up at her with eyes of defeat and only said the one word that I could think of at the time.

"Yes."

She gave me a look of pity, "you don't have to go" that's right.  I don't.  I don't want to, and I've never been one for partys.

"Hey Elizabeth, is Harry a frat boy?"

SHe stared at me blanky, "yes"

I let out a small sigh of relief.  The frat guys on campus usually always had parties, but as I recalled their parties were always packed so I thought and thought.

"Looks like he won't be missing me then!" I let out a laugh as Elizabeth stepped inside the building with me and ruffled my hair.

"Oh Lilith, not taking orders from anyone this time I see?" We just laughed and laughed.  But deep down inside I knew it was true, I was usually always one to take orders, but Harry has no control over me or ever will for that matter.

Oh, but how I was wrong.  Harry did have control over me.  He even controlled my future and fucked it all up.  No.  He fucked me up and made me the person that I am now. 

Lifeless.

"Lilith" I heard Ms. Smith calling out my name waiting for me to continue on with my story.

"Sorry, I was just thinking." I started fiddling with my fingers that were interlaced on my lap.

"About?"

What was I honestly thinking about?  My mind was clouded with too many thoughts, but my mouth only held mumbled words and things left unsaid.  I had too many thoughts but not a single word.  I looked up at her, she looked as though she waited for me to reply, but I couldn't.  I only had jumbles of words that couldn't make up for my thoughts.  She sighed and I let out a breath quickly regretting it. 

Oh God. No.  Ms. Smith asked the question I dreaded mostly because it's where this whole mess started.  No, it actually started with the first time I 'checked' out Harry as Elizabeth said, but I like to think it was this night that started this series of unfortunate events.

"Did you go to the party"  With too many thoughts going on in my mind, I only said one.

"Yes."