Lessons of Love

Chances, Monsters, Destiny, and New Beginnings.

I started to feel myself giving into this kiss, I let my body start to take over this moment, in which I started feeling myself get all tingly.  My stomach started swirling with not only butterflies but a small flame.  The kiss was only seconds, but it felt like minutes as we sat there, looking in each others eyes, and in this very moment, I knew.  I knew I would start to get better - I felt like everything was going to, I felt like I could and will love again, I felt like I was coming out of my shell-as cliché as it might sound, I did. 

Zayn spoke up first, "I'm sorry...I shouldn't of had done that, it's ju-dammit it's that it just felt right."  I kept looking at him, I gave him a small smile because it did feel right. 

"It's fine."  I said as I stood up from the bed and walked around my room, trying to wrap my head around what just happened. 

"Look I know we sorta just met, but I was umm wondering if you wanted to go out?"  He said as he stood up from his position on the bed, it was cute how he was acting nervous.  He was playing with his fingers and running his hand through his hair.  "As a date...I mean, if not that's cool.  We could just go out as friends..."  He quietly added, his cheeks turning into a light shade of pink as he shifted his gaze from me to the ground. 

I smiled, happy that he asked me that because I knew I had to not only give myself, but him a chance at finding something or someone new.  Something or someone that won't hurt us in the end, something that was inevitable, someone that was clumsy, just something that was real. 

"Yeah.  That sounds good."  I told him, as I started to walk towards him.  He and I have both been through enough, and it just seemed we needed a breath of fresh air, a new fire, a new igniter.   

"Really?"  He asked in a surprised tone. 

I nodded my head frantically, as a smile crept on his face. 

"Okay, well it's a date!  Tell me when you're available?"  I nodded again, smiling at him. 

"Should I go now?"  He asked me, pointing at the door.  I shrugged, "if you want to?"

He smiled at me again, and made his way towards my bed sitting down on it, making himself comfortable.  "Looks like I'll stay for a while longer then."  He said smirking at me.  "Would you want to continue with the box thing?"

"Sure..."  I said, unsure if I even wanted to.  "We don't have to, I mean I get if you don't want to."  I shrugged my shoulders while making my way to the bed once again.  He took his journal in his hand and examined it. 

"This is pretty cool, that he had a journal."  I nodded, "Yeah, but I don't know what's inside..."  I said, my voice trailing off.  I never knew what was in that journal, and I wasn't ready to find out.  Not yet that is.  He gave me a look, questioning if he should open it or not.  He did what I didn't want him to do. 

He opened it. 

"Wow, he really did use it.  Do you wanna see what he wrote?  The journal date stops on Novem-"  That's when I cut him off.

"I really don't."  I said a little harsh, I sighed.  "I'm just not ready to open that - I want to, just not yet."  I said, looking at him. 

"It's alright, I understand."  He put the journal back into the box, but he kept the letters out.  I wonder Harry wrote in them, but only time would tell. 

"What about these letters?"  He was now holding them up.  "I think it's cool of him to write you something, it's almost like closure."  No, it's not.  It really isn't.  This is part of the closure I got from him.