Lessons of Love

Lust, Betrayal, and Soothing Voices.

I was underneath him, lying in bed, ready - even though I still had my clothes on ... but I felt as though I was ready for this moment.  For what was to come, I felt myself from the inside out bursting with excitement.  But the moment never came, and honestly I didn't know how I should feel. 

Either disappointed or happy, I guess I was a little bit of both. 

I was disappointed because there was so many emotions and feelings going on throughout our little heated make out session, but it didn't go to waste, or did it?  I don't think so because it actually made me happy that he didn't want to go far with me.  Hopefully when we're both ready, it will happen. 

Hopefully. 

Shit. 

I felt my heart rate quicken, hands sweating, and my knees slightly twitching at the thought that at one point, I wouldn't mind this oh so slightly complicated relationship I've got with Zayn to a next level. 

I tried to rid my mind of these thoughts and images going through my brain as I'm trying to process what he's saying to me right now.  I find myself not listening to the words coming out of his mouth as he sits up from lying on me, instead I just find myself looking at the guy who I hope will be in my future. 

I also find the guy who I am immensely and hopelessly falling for as not only seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or any amount of time could actually define how long it took me to fall, but it would take me a lifetime to prove it instead. 

Maybe, not even that. 

After the whole Harry situation, I wasn't myself, hell, I didn't think i could ever be human again.  I felt dehumanized while there, i felt worthless, but most of all I felt lifeless.  Like an old rag doll that once a kid was done playing with it, they would throw it away or give it away.  I felt my chest ache as I suddenly start remembering the day it all happened, and what a hell of a day it was. 

I was enveloped within the arms of my love, I couldn't help the giggles that surpassed my lips as I played with his ringlets waiting for him to wake up.  Laying here in bed wasn't only heartwarming but it was mesmerizing, I didn't know how much I could love this boy until he showed me how much I could yesterday.  The memories of last night came flooding, and I couldn't help the smile and deep shade of red that appeared on my face. 

I realized that Harry being the deep sleeper he is wouldn't wake up until noon, it was currently 10 A.M. and I debated with myself either to stay in the warmth of not only his bed, but his arms, or to get up and make something to eat.  

I went on and chose my second option thinking back to my growling stomach that kept making unwanted noises.  I quickly detached myself from him and made my way out of the bed while trying to find a t-shirt and sweats to wear.  When I found them, I made my way towards the kitchen and put the kettle on medium heat.  As I waited for the water to heat up to make myself and Harry some tea, I heard some banging coming from outside the door. 

"We know she's in here Styles, open up."  I was confused, and tried my best to be as quiet as i can to Harry's bedroom.  

Once there I shook him until he woke.  "Hello Beautiful," He said lazily and he shot me his one sided smile of his that could make someone forget about all their problems.  "What are yo-"

"Styles open up!"  He looked at me, wide eyed, he was worried. 

But what was going on?  Who was at the door?  What did they want?  One too many questions came cluttering into my mind, but none of them came out of my mouth as I was being pulled and pushed into the closet by Harry.