[Coventina and Anahita texting]
Anahita: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Coventina: Idk, why?
Anahita: To get to the idiot's house.
Anahita: Knock knock.
Coventina: Who's there?
Anahita: The chicken.
[Coventina knocks on Aethor's door at 2AM]
Aethor: *answers it* Tina?
Coventina: I've been attacked.
Osiris: Come on, I didn't drink that much last night.
Jakal: You were flirting with Kami.
Osiris: So what? She's my girlfriend.
Jakal: You asked her if she was single.
Jakal: And then you cried when she said she wasn't.
Yuri: My face is blowing up.
Surge: I think your acne is caused by stress.
Yuri: So it's incurable?
Surge: No, no no, you just have to find a way to relax and de-stress.
Yuri: So it's incurable?
Melress: How does one turn their emotions off?
Shadow: Okay so first go to settings.
Shadow: Wait, I'm a fucking idiot, I thought you said emojis.
Melress: No, I'm still willing to try this. Go ahead, I'm at settings, what next?
Alfric: No man will want you if you act like that. It's unladylike.
Miso: I! Don't! Want! A man! I'd rather have a smoothie and a burrito!
Pearl: Imagine getting a job at a Gamestop and your manager is the type of guy to chug a whole monster energy drink and then say, "Haha, level up!" and he does that every day.
Silvanus: This is oddly specific, are you okay?
Pearl: I am fantastic thanks for asking.
Lumi: Would you say you're independent?
Arbus: *looks at Cicuta*
Cicuta: *nods*
Arbus: I'd say so, yes.
Dina: Since when do you even care about this stuff?
Marial: Since I met you.
Vesta: You have to admit that was pretty sweet.
Miso: If you don't marry her, I will.
Fimbre: *riding a bike*
Lumi: I taught her everything she needs to know.
Athena: Braking?
Lumi: ... I taught her half of everything she needs to know.
Sebastian: Hey, can I get a ride home?
Cicuta: Sorry, I don't have a car. *shuts car door and drives away*
Sniper: Bring it on!
Alfric: No, people. Let's be smart and bring it off.
Aethor: My sexuality doesn't define me.
Also Aethor: MOVE, I'M GAY.
Puppet: My leg fell asleep, I can't feel it.
Alva: *looks at Puppet's leg and stabs it*
Puppet: AHHHH! Why would you do that!?
Alva: Liar!
[Surge's first day in the guild]
Athena: Okay, goodness lesson number one. You see someone drop their wallet. Ana, drop your wallet.
Anahita: *tosses wallet on the floor*
Athena: Now, what would you do?
Surge: Excuse me, miss, but I do believe you've just dropped your wallet.
Anahita: Doesn't look familiar to me.
Surge: What? I just saw you drop it. Here.
Anahita: Nope, it's not mine.
Surge: It is yours. I am trying to be a good person and return it to you.
Anahita: Return what to who?
Surge: ...
Surge: Aren't you Anahita?
Anahita: Yep.
Surge: And this is your ID?
Anahita: Yep.
Surge: I found this ID in this wallet. And if that's the case, then this must be your wallet.
Anahita: Makes sense to me.
Surge: Then take it.
Anahita: It's not my wallet.
Surge: YOU- TAKE THE DAMN WALLET BEFORE I RIP YOUR LIMBS OFF-
Athena: SURGE, NO.
