Kit: Quick! You have to pretend to my mom to Fimbre's mom!
Niko: *on the phone* Yes? This... is Mom Kit. Kit and Fimbre are playing swords. Sorry, playing with swords. They are bleeding. Oh no. They are dead. Don't call again. *hangs up*
Kit and Fimbre: ...
Niko: Sorry, I panicked.
Fimbre: Okay, first question. What is your favorite TV show?
Tyra: Well, for live tweeting, it's Scandal. For binge watching, it's Scandal. But for fashion... it's actually Scandal. My answer is Scandal.
Fimbre: ... Tina?
Coventina: Ooh, I love watching Russian traffic accidents on YouTube while I play children's music at the wrong RPM.
Aethor: I like beauty pageants! Everyone is so happy and perfect.
Niko: I like Diagnosis Murder and skin flicks.
Surge: I've trained myself not to laugh or smile.
Surge: I watched a hundred hours of the Three Stooges. Every time I felt like smiling or laughing, I jabbed myself in the stomach with a cattle prod.
Romex: I trusted you!
Alva: Well, that wasn't very smart, was it?
Pan: We both said some things we didn't mean.
Athena, thinking about how she was right and absolutely meant everything she said: ... Sure did, pal.
Tiamat: Panja has a daughter? How old is she?
Niko: She's 38 and I'm 32/immortal.
Pan: You're late.
Miso: You're pretty!
Pan: You're forgiven.
Aethor: *running after the bus* Tina! Tina, wait! I love you!
Coventina: A-Aethor!? Stop! Driver, stop the bus!
Driver: Do you think this is a taxi? Get off at the next bus stop!
Coventina: They always stop right then when you say this in the dramas, though...
Coventina: *sticks head out the window* Come to the next bus stop!
[Surge and Yuri texting]
Yuri: ❤️
Surge: 3>
Surge: Wait, how do I turn the three?
Yuri: Omg.
Surge: ε>
Yuri: what the fuck
Flint: MIDDLE FINGERS UP
Flint: IF YOU DON'T GIVE A
Flint: *whispers quietly so the rest of the guild can't hear him* frick.
[*POLICE SIRENS*]
[*HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING*]
Melody: *falls out of bed*
Silvanus: Are you alright?
Melody: Parkour.
Miso: I just want to be called cute like 23/7.
Alfric: Why not 24?
Miso: Snack breaks.
Vesta: Date a girl who fucks everything up.
Tiamat: My time to shine.
Sebastian: Would you rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby?
Cicuta: What's a matter baby?
Sebastian: Nothing, sweetie, what's a matter with you?
Cicuta: I literally did not see that coming.
Athena: *crushes emotions with bare hands*
Athena: As I was saying...
