QingYu: A Wuxia Tale (Going Through Reediting)

Embrace in the Dark

(Dayu's POV)

Being in the uniform bunk is not such a tragedy. I washed clothes in the stream the whole morning. Eat lunch alone because the other helpers doesn't want to eat with the disgraced helper who confessed his feelings to a handsome Captain but got rejected and exiled to uniform unit as a punishment.

Alone time, swell...

Then in the afternoon, I get to wash more clothes. Beating them with a wooden cloth beater. It's stress relieving.

Eat dinner, still alone but I don't mind. It gave me more time to think of Captain Wang and that kiss in peace. No one bothered me.

Everyone is against me though cause after dinner, they left all the baskets of wet clothes for me to hang in the drying area. A roofed area beside the uniform bunk where wet clothes are hanged to dry.

All twenty baskets. I will hang all the clothes in the twenty bulking baskets alone.

"All new recruits here did it. It's like a test you have to pass," a helper, cleary the leader of the bully troop, sneered at me.

I just shrugged and nodded. They looked surprised that I am agreeing easily.

Well I can strangle all of them with one hand behind my back to teach them what happens to people who bully me but I don't have the energy or the desire to do it.

I just want to be alone with my thoughts of Captain Wang and our kiss.

That kiss. Our kiss...I am evolving.

So here I am. Alone in the dark drying area with just a small lamp and hundreds of clothes to hang as company.

My thoughts went automatically back to that moment when my lips touched Captain Wang's lips. I smiled subconciously as I hang the wet clothes. I smiled some more when the kiss in my head escalated, with him kissing me back and holding me in his arms.

I was about to bend down to get another piece of cloth to hang when I stopped as I felt a presence behind me.

I swiftly turn around. A tall figure was hidden in the dark behind me. But even if I can't see him, I will always knew Captain Wang's distinct presence. His presence means power and solidity.

"Why are you here?" I turn around to give him my back and I get back to my chore.

"To see you," he said as he walked closer to me.

"What for? I think you have said all you need to say to me yesterday at the armory. And I understand Captain, that you don't held any tender feelings for me,"

My heartbeats started racing when I felt his warmth on my back. He is standing too close.

"Dayu...let me explain,"

"There no need to explain Captain. I truly understand."

"Dayu please," he put a hand on my shoulder.

I flinched away. Turning to face him and taking a step back. His presence is overwhelming me. I can't think quickly when he is near to me like this.

"Please leave Captain. Please leave me alone," I begged him.

I am scared. Of him. Of what I am feeling. Because for a whole day now, I haven't think of plans to kill anyone. I haven't think of obtaining General Wang's secret. I haven't think of my parents and Uncle Shu.

Captain Wang and the kiss we shared are making me forget to think about revenge. Our kiss filled my mind completely.

"Will you let me said my piece, before telling me to leave?" Captain Wang is clearly frustrated if you would based it on his tone.

"What more do you have to say? You have said it already? You don't find men attractive. That you are not like that. You would rather let me be with someone else. You don't have feelings for me..."

"But I do!" Captain Wang shouted.

We froze. We both look at the direction of the uniform bunk where the other helpers are probably sleeping.

Captain Wang groaned and I let out a small squeak when he grabbed and pulled me without any warning. He took me to the darkest side of the drying area. Where total darkness embraced us.

He embraced me there.

His arms going around me as he lean on a wooden frame and he held me close.

I put my hands on his chest to push him away but...

"Please don't run away yet," he whispered near my temple. His warm breath hitting my hair and forehead. "Hear me out first,"

I look up at him. I can't see his face but I can feel his eyes, I know they are focused on my face too.

Then a strong night air blew and the clothes around us swayed. Suddenly a shot of light from the lamp penetrated the darkness around us and I saw his face in the light.

His eyes met mine. His eyes, the emotions there. Pleading...

Then everything settled and we are blanketed by the darkness once more.

"W-what do you mean when you said that you do? You do what?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"I do..,have feelings for you," his reply.

I felt a burst of hope blossomed inside my chest but I thumped it down.

"What kind of feelings?" I asked, a little scared. "If you feel responsible for me..."

"Of course I feel responsible for you. I recruited you to come here,"

I tried pushing him away again, "You don't have to feel responsible for me anymore Captain..."

"Stop!" he hugged me tighter. "I do feel responsible for you but that's not the only feeling I have for you,"

Tears pricked my eyes. I know what else he felt for me. "I don't need your pity," I hit his chest, my voice breaking.

"What?! Who is pitying you? I don't pity you! Dayu, stop hitting me,"

I stopped. I look up again. He doesn't pity me. Then...

"How do you feel about me then?" I asked in bated breath.

"I don't know..." is his answer.

I pushed him away. And this time I pushed him hard until I got free from his hold.