QingYu: A Wuxia Tale (Going Through Reediting)

One Rainy Morning

(Qing's POV)

Four days before the arrivals of the generals...

It rained last night before we finished our patrol duty. And this morning, it is still raining. People around the camp thinks this rain will last the whole day.

Everyone who are not in sentry duty are ordered to stay in bunks or their cabin. After securing all the important rooms in the base and attended the meeting of the officials, all Captains are advised to be on standy by and be ready for any emergency that may occur.

I was reading scroll after scroll about my notes on my other obsession aside from Dayu. "The Shadow" is still a puzzle for me but I am now certain more than ever that he will try to get to the Master General and his second in command, my father, General Wang.

I was in the process of cleaning all the scrolls when someone bang on my door. Not a knock but a bang. Someone is using his fist to my door.

I took my sword, thinking that an emergency had arisen. I rush to the door to open it and my eyes widen when I saw Dayu outside, wearing a soldier's uniform.

I pulled him quickly inside, look left and right to be sure that no one saw him then I slam the door shut.

"Are you insane? Why are you wearing a soldier's attire?! If someone saw you and they learn that you are not a soldier, they may think the worst about you and kill you?"

Posing as a soldier when you are not may lead for people to think that you are a spy. A captured spy is as good as dead inside the military base. Being put into torture to get information out of you is just the start of your death sentence.

Dayu looked up at me, "I want to blend in and this is the only way I thought how. I wanted to see you,"

Now, if he said that in a happy, excited tone I might feel giddy in happiness that he wanted to see me. But Dayu looks far from being happy and excited. He looks confuse and distraught.

I put my sword on top of the table and came to him. I gently took off the soldier's hat from his head and hug him, wet clothes and all, to me.

"Did something happened to you? A problem? Did someone bully you again? Those other helpers in the uniform bunk, just because you are the newcomer..."

He shook his head and look up to me. Dayu's eyes are sad and confuse and tortured. Like thoughts are battling inside his head and they made no sense to him.

I let him go to get a large piece of cloth to dry his hair. I wanted to peel those wet clothes from him but Dayu looked skittish. Like if I make one wrong move or wrongly touch him, he will run away.

"Do you want to change your clothes?" I asked him patiently. He shook his head while looking down. I stood in front of him. I gently lift his head to look at his eyes. "Tell me what's bothering your mind,"

He stared at me, took a deep breath and open his mouth. "Do you want to abuse me?"

My ear rang. "What?!" Maybe I heard him wrong.

"Do you want to abuse me?" Dayu repeated. He points a finger in my groin area. "Do you want to put that inside me?"

Oh...he is talking about...I see...

"Dayu..." I took a step closer to him but he took a step back. I stopped. Dayu who is still looking down, dripping water with those wet clothes, looks scared and nervous.

Abuse? He used the word abuse. Like he find the act scary.
My world stopped. I felt like iced water was poured at me and my whole body went numb for a moment.

Is he...was he...did he experienced something horrible? Was he abused?

"Dayu, look at me..." I ordered him carefully. He looked up, his face ashamed and there are tears swimming in his eyes. I couldn't help myself when I saw him like that.

I went to him fast and hugged him tightly even if he flinched snd struggled from my hold a bit at first.

"Did someone hurt you before?" I whispered against his wet hair. He stopped moving and bury his face on my shoulder. He hugged me back as tightly.

It's not hard to imagine. A boy orphaned early has no protection from those kind of predators. Dayu...my lovely innocent Dayu. I hugged him tighter still.

"I will never hurt you. Never," I said to him.

He nodded, "I know. But...do you want that? That helper said it was normal..." so Dayu listened to other helpers talking.

I gritted my teeth. Should I lie to him? I...can't do that. I can't say something that I have no confidence in keeping.

I took a deep breath, "I do," I replied truthfully before I let him go to capture his face in my hands and tilt it up. "But we won't do anything you will not be comfortable with. I won't hurt you that way. I refuse to hurt you in any way,"

Dayu stared at me, weighing my words and sincerity. Him being extra careful is a testament of how scared he is of what he learned from those other helpers.

He must be confuse. How something so horrible for him feels normal for the others? That must be the foremost question on his mind. Add that to him thinking if I want him that way too.

He braved the rain and wore a soldier's uniform he probably stole just to confirm this from me.

"How?" He finally asked. "How will it not hurt?"

I straightened. Well I am not as verse as others because Dayu is my first male lover but I do have some general idea.

Lubrication is the key, Jiang once told me. Use premier expensive kind of oil, he also added.

Who would have thought that those things that I found tiring when Jiang told them to me the first time will be useful to me now? Life huh...

"I have to prepare you well to receive me. Lovers use oil as lubrication. Some greasy fat will do too...beeswax..."

"Do you have oil here?" Dayu interrupted my explanation. I stared shocked at him. "Or greasy fat and beeswax?"

I nodded like a puppet, without any thoughts in my head. Dayu rendered me speechless.

We stared at each other. Dayu is still scared but behind his eyes, I can read...determination. He wanted something. Something to prove...to whom I have no idea but if I will make a wild guess I would think he wanted to prove something for himself.

I meet his eyes, "Do you want to try it?" I asked him in a quiet almost whispering tone.

He slowly nodded his head.