QingYu: A Wuxia Tale (Going Through Reediting)

I Love You

(Dayu's POV)

I can't move. I feel like all my muscles are locked. I wriggle my behind and I felt him still inside me.

I can't move but I can use my mouth.

"Are you still hard back there?" I glared at Captain Wang and he laughed again. Openly this time.

"Move, I can't breath." I said. That got him moving. He leaned up and ever so slowly slipped out of my body, then he plopped down on the bed next to me. One of his legs dangling on the floor.

"We need a bigger bed," he said, smiling. His eyes twinkling. He looked sated, as he should be cause I can feel his spend inside me. It still felt warm. "Maybe something sturdy with four poster,"

"Hmmm..." I hummed. I felt tired suddenly and lethargic.

He saw that and gather me in his arm. My head landed on his chest, "Sleepy my heart?"

"Hmmm..." I said as I listen to the tattering of the rain outside.

"Answer me this first, are you hurting, behind?" he asked with concern on his voice.

I tested my behind. I slowly shook my head, "No, just a tad bit sore but it doesn't hurt," I look up at him.  "You kept your promise. It doesn't hurt, much..."

It's true. He took his time. Took care of me. I was wrong. The act is not scary after all. It doesn't need to hurt. Captain Wang, once again, taught me something.

He taught me that surrendering yourself doesn't hurt. And trusting someone won't kill you. All my life, I never trusted anyone completely but Uncle Shu and Mei.

I trusted those monks thinking that they are good and holy cause they live in a temple but I was wrong.

I never trusted easily again. Until now.

Until him. Captain Wang.

He smiled, "That's all I need to hear. Rest and I will take you back to the uniform bunk later. "

I nodded and dozed in his arms.

I don't know how long I was asleep but when I open my eyes it is still raining.

I was lying sideways, with my back on something warm, Captain Wang's chest. His one arm holding my waist, the other under my shoulder, with our legs intertwined.

I didn't know that he is awake until he talked.

"How old were you, when the abuse happened?" he asked as he gather me closer.

I was a bit stunned that he guessed that I was abused. But then again, the man is wise.

"Eight summer," I won't be able to forget. "Right after my parents died."

He hummed. "And how did your parents died..."

In that raid...I felt tears prick my eyes and a lump formed at my throat. I cough and swallowed, "A plague, in our town," I lied. "Many died and my father was an early victim. Then my mother followed him,"

Half truths. His knows me through my half truths. My heart ached.

"I'm sorry my heart," I felt his arms tightening around me, I am lying almost on top of him. I held on to his arms.

"Why be sorry, you didn't cause the plague." Your father did and the general he serves did. But not you...

My eyes rounded.

Captain Wang didn't do anything wrong and yet I planned to kill him and his other siblings. All because of my promise to my dead parents that I will kill anyone related to General Wang.

I turn to gaze at him. His hair was loose, some even fell on his face. His eyes gentle and warm as they regard me. His lips formed a small smile.

I raise my hand to slowly lift the hairs off his face. "You didn't cause that plague. Don't be sorry,"

"I wish I was with you during that hard time. I wish I was there to protect and comfort you." The Captain said.

I nodded. My heart wished those things too. I wish I knew him before my heart got filled with hatred and desire for revenge. I wish I knew him before my life got ruined.

But those will be futile dreams. We are here now, in this situation because of all that happened in the past. And as this moment stands, "I regret nothing," I whispered to him.

I don't regret meeting him. I don't regret wanting him. I don't regret what just happened between us.

I don't regret loving him.

So this is love...it makes me forget anything, including hate and revenge and the abuse that happened to me. It makes me regret nothing. It makes me happy.

It makes me scared...

I hugged him with enough force he got laid on his back. He hugged me back as tightly.

I wanted to tell him. I love him. And I am scared that if he knew the truth. That I am "The Shadow" he has been looking for, he will hate me and leave me.

But still, I want to tell him...

"I love you Dayu," he breaths those words.

My eyes grew round. I pushed against his chest to lean out and look down at him. "What?" did I heard him right.

He smiled and repeat those words again...

"I love you Dayu,"

My heart ached. I heard it. Those words. He said them. I don't know what to say or do. What should I say or do?!

He continued to smile, "You don't have to say it back to me..."

I attacked him. I surged up, captured his face and shower him with kisses.

"I love you..." I said as I kiss his cheeks. "I love you," I said as I kiss his nose. I planted a hard kiss on his mouth, "I love you," I said as I rise up to breath.

He laughed and hug me back into his arms. I lay contentedly there.

"What made you think that...you love me?" I asked him curiously and a bit nervously too.

He sighed, "I think I always feel it in me, ever since I met you. I just put a name on it today. This feeling of wanting to be by your side and to give you all the happiness you deserve. I want you happy and protected all the time Dayu. If that is not love...I will try to find another name for it. But for now...I know that it's what I feel. I love you..."

I nodded, "I want you to be happy too Captain," and to never leave me when you learned of my past and lies. "I love you," I said that instead.

He held me tighter. Then he sighed again.

"Those people who abused you. Should I search and punish them?"

I shook my head, "They are all dead. Someone already gotten to them first," My Uncle already took care of that. "And it was a long time ago, today, I finally let go of the hurt I felt when they abused me,"

What happened to us proved that. This act, I can have it without getting hurt. As long as Captain Wang will be with me.

"I will protect and comfort you from now on." He promised as he kissed my forehead.

I nodded as I close my eyes.